Crime-scene drama fans might soon see a new forensic technique debut on their favorite TV series: hand-germ testing. According to a paper published in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, human beings leave a trail of bacteria on objects they touch, and...the mix of microbes on each person's hand is highly individualized. In fact, through their previous work, researchers at the University of Colorado-Boulder learned that human hand can contain on average about 100 different species of bacteria...and only about 13% of that makeup is shared between any two people.

        With that in mind, the team conducted a number of tests, including swabbing computer mice that had not been used in 12 hours and comparing the bacteria with those collected from the hands of the computer owner and 270 other randomly chosen people., The "closest match was to the computer owner," and investigators "said their technique was between 70 percent and 90 percent accurate."

 The researchers also found that colonies of hand bacteria remain essentially unchanged after two weeks at room temperature, and recovered within hours of handwashing. So, the authors concluded, given the abundance of bacterial cells on the skin surface...it may be easier to recover bacterial DNA than human DNA from touched surfaces,.

Although additional studies are needed to confirm that this is actually true.story.

How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.


How do men exercise on the beach?
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.

How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."


How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.


What did God say after creating man?
I can do so much better.  ( my personal fav :pagel: )

What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.

What do you call a handcuffed man?
Trustworthy.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.  :laugh:

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women?
Exchange him.


Why do men need instant replay on TV sports?
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.  :laugh:

Why do men whistle when they're sitting on the toilet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.  Hahahaha awesome :

Why do only 10% of men make it to heaven?
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.

Why does it take 100 million sperms to fertilize one egg?
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

For those of you, who care:



Whether you are aware of your incessantly ticking biological clock or not, the absolute last thing that any woman of steadily advancing childbearing age wants to hear when she flips on the morning news shows is: Women lose 90 percent of their eggs by age 30.

Thirty? Life has hardly begun at 30! Gulp.

The hard truth is that decades of research have proved that a woman's fertility declines over time. But now it appears that the old biological clock may start ticking much earlier -- and faster -- than once thought.

A study from the University of St. Andrews and Edinburgh University, published last month by PLoS ONE, tracked the human ovarian reserve -- or a woman's potential number of eggs -- from conception through menopause. Using a mathematical model and data from 325 women, the researchers found that the average woman is born with around 300,000 eggs and steadily loses them as she ages, with just 12 percent of those eggs remaining at the age of 30, and only 3 percent left by 40.

"That's a greater percentage of loss at an earlier age than had previously been reported," says reproductive endocrinologist Robert Stillman, of Shady Grove Fertility in Rockville. "One might be able to argue whether there are 12 percent remaining at age 30 or 22 percent or even 40 percent, but it is still clear that there's a very rapid loss in the number of eggs available as women age and that the smaller pool of [older] eggs is also more likely to" contain a higher proportion of abnormal eggs, he adds, pointing out that from the mid-30s on, the decline in fertility is much steeper with each passing year.

"This adds to the abundant evidence that for women, unfortunately, it's use 'em or lose 'em."

Before you start freaking out, it's important to remember that even 30,000 or so eggs remaining at the start of your 30s is still a lot. In addition, the quantity and quality of eggs are just two factors affecting fertility: Plenty of women get pregnant perfectly easily in their 30s and even early 40s. Also, infertility technology has come a long way in even the past decade. Still, given that a study published last year in the journal Fertility and Sterility found that female undergraduates significantly overestimated their fertility prospects at all ages, it seems wise for women thinking about starting a family -- or having more children -- to educate themselves about aging's effects on conception and pregnancy.

"I think the important message is: Don't leave [having a child] too late, if it is something that is going to be very important to you, " says W. Hamish Wallace, a co-author of the Fertility and Sterility study. An oncologist at the Royal Hospital for Sick Children at the University of Edinburgh, he says he hopes this research will help doctors advise young cancer patients on how best to preserve their fertility after treatment and improve counseling for healthy women.

The biological reality that female fertility peaks in the teens and early 20s can be difficult for many American women to swallow, as they delay childbirth further every year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. In the District, the average age of initial childbirth was 26.5 years in 2006, up 5.5 years since 1970, the highest jump in the country.

"While we may not be mature enough to conceive at a young age, nor should we, that is still when the body is most adept at conception and carrying a baby," says Claire Whelan, program director of the American Fertility Association. "Our biological clock has not kept pace with our ability to prolong our life spans." Stillman agrees, pointing out that research about advanced maternal age and motherhood today is clear: The older you get, the more difficult it is to get pregnant and the higher the chance of miscarriage, pregnancy problems such as gestational diabetes and hypertension, and chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome, among other concerns. A study published this month in Autism Research found that the risk of autism increases with a mother's age: Women over 40 were 77 percent more likely than those under 25 to have a child with the condition. (There was also an elevated risk when the dad was over 40 and the mother was in her 20s.)

"Society has changed, " says Stillman, "but the ovaries will take another million years or two to catch up to that."

Since we don't have another million years to wait, many women thinking of having children are left with the predicament of balancing the personal, primal urge to partner up and procreate with worthwhile social goals such as pursuing higher education and a successful career -- not to mention economic stability.


It doesn't make it any easier that the media are filled with mixed messages on women's fertility: Compare the studies filled with doom-and-gloom statistics on advanced maternal age and pregnancy with the myriad photos of 40- or 50-something celebrities in glossy magazines, gleefully holding their bouncing baby, projecting the image that fertility isn't as finite as it seems.

"In some ways, medicine has done too good a job, " says Stillman, who notes that at Shady Grove, the oldest woman to get pregnant using her own eggs gave birth at 44, while the clinic will help women use donor eggs up until 51, the average age of menopause.

"If you're going to be on the cover of People, you need to be honest and say you're using donor eggs, because other women look at that and say, 'I can wait till I'm 50, 51,' and they are sadly mistaken."

There are at least a few things worth noting in the meantime: While the PLoS ONE study on ovarian reserve found that age alone affected a woman's store of eggs up until 25, lifestyle factors such as stress, smoking and being overweight can have an increasingly negative impact on fertility as you get older, say the authors and AFA's Whelan.

"You can't prolong your biological clock -- you're not going to produce more eggs -- but that's not the only factor around fertility," Whelan explains. "Women do need to start thinking proactively about their own reproductive health, and protecting it, as time passes."

Staying healthy in general may give you a bit of leeway, in other words, but being realistic -- and in the know -- could be the best medicine of all.

]

 :pagel:

1. Scooby and Shaggy were always being freaked out by ghosts and ghouls, but no one else saw them before Scooby and Shaggy.

2. Scooby and Shaggy always had the munchies.

3. Shaggy always thought Scooby was talking and was the only one who could hear him and understand him.

4. Scooby and Shaggy always fell into the trap that was intended for the monster because they were tripping over themselves and couldn't see where they were going.

5. They were always deluded and warped by thinking they were dressed up in some costumes and entertained the monster.

6. Shaggy always said "like" to the extreme, i.e. "like ZOIKS, Scoob, let's get outta here!!" What's a zoik?

7. Scooby and Shaggy were always the ones in the back of the van (doing who knows what).

8. They drove around in the MYSTERY MACHINE, which had that weird trippy design on it's side.

9. Shaggy and Scooby were always giddy and laughing.

10. Look at Shaggy; the way he dressed, his goatee, etc., 'nuff said.

11. Shaggy's girlfriend was called Mary Jane....

1. Have a tea party with your pets

2. Stop people as they enter a drive-thru. Ask them to give you a lift though the drive-thru because you dont want to queue inside.

3. Make up a word, use it casually in conversation and see if anyone ask what it means

4. Buy a complete set of Transformers. Play with them loudly. If people comment, tell them with a straight face "they're more then meets the eye".

5. Put your toddlers clothes on backwards and send him or her to school as if nothing is wrong.

6. Pay off your MasterCard with your Visa

7. Burn all your waste paper while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.

8. Read the dictionary backwards and look for any hidden messages.

9. Stare at people though the tines of a fork and pretened they're in jail.

10. Write a short story using alphabet soup.

11. Make a list of things you have already done.

12. When your roommate is sleeping, place his or her hand in a warm bucket of water... Try it

13. Write checks with Roman numerals.

14. Write "out to lunch" on your forehead.

15. Explain the reasons why World War 2 started to your cat.

16. When queuing shout "giddy up" and whip the person in front of you.

17. Start the conversation "I wonder what would happen if our knees bent the other way..."

18. Pop some popcorn without putting on the lid.


Paint eggs

19. Bill your doctor for the time you spent in the waiting room.

20. When someone says "Have a nice day", tell them you have "other plans".

21. See how many clothes pegs you can clip onto your face.

22. Re-inact the sinking of the Titanic in your bath tub

23. Dress your cat in dolls clothing

24. Have a bath in baked beans

25. Make a website and fill it with useless crap (like me)

26. Watch a movie backwards

27. Hang your photo frames upside down

28. Draw a bikini on the page 3 girl.

29. Wear a mask and walk into a bank.

30. Eat soup with chop-sticks

31. Polish your car with earwax.

32. Pay your bills in pennies.

33. Make up your own star constellations. For example- The Farting Cat or The Laughing Donkey

34. Drink four pints of water and hold yourself for at least an hour

35. Imitate the sounds your modem makes when you dial up to the internet

36. Smash glasses and glue them back together.

37. Visit a neighbours house and change all of their clocks and alarms.

38. Break a world record.

39. Write your Christmas list in March and send it to "Sexy Santa" in the north pole.

40. Develop an imaginary friend and introduce him to your real friends as "The One Eye Snake".

41. Start a silly chain letter.

42. Dress up as the opposite sex.

43. Give some money to charity.

44. Try to not think about Armadillos

45. Watch a movie and repeat everything said in an East European accent.

45. While in a friends house, cover their toilet in see-through cling-flim.

46. Scare random people in the street with the Scream Mask.

47. Write down 10 reasons why you've bored.

48. Water your pet...see if he grows.

49. Learn to type...with your toes

50. Tell your feet a joke

51. Divise and practice your own stripshow.

52. Build a small dolls house with ice cubes then play with it.

53. Make a sculpture from mash Potato

54. Super glue your fingers together.

55. Fake a UFO picture. Claim they are called "The Larries" and they are in fact jolly nice chaps.

56. Hack to a emeny's (or friends) email or Instant Messenger acoount. Ask their online-buddies to cyber with you.

57. If you're male- try to find a females G-spot (WARNING- may take a long time). If you're female- hit a man in his 'sensitive' area (very fun).

58. Paint Zebra or tiger stripes on your body and free the animals at the zoo.

59. Have an immaginary party for your immaginary friends.

60. Copy all of your school note onto microsoft word, highlight it, go to fonts, and click on symbols. See if you can remember what you wrote..... (have fun!)

61. Put your little sister's barbie in the microwave and watch them melt and pretend that it's the witch from the wizard of oz!

62. Look at the maternity clothes in a catolog, sit by your mum and look at her ever once in a while and smile.

63. Count all the flowers on your wallpaper (unplug the phone)

64. Called people by the name of 'retarded .....*enter inanimate object/animal here*....' muffin and monkey work well.

65. On Instant messengers, copy peoples' screen name, font, font colour etc and tell them they've stolen your name! ... its a killer!