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Topics - _noXiouS_
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« on: January 04, 2011, 12:20:25 AM »
Please welcome our newest PJ Pari Jatti^Anti^Narcotics. She has been contributing to PJ significantly. Great amount of participation in the jokes section. Also, contributing to PJ competitions. She also holds excellent participation in the chat room. All in all, she livens up the forum and chat. Hope, she continues to brighten PJ with her presence.
Let’s all give her a warm welcome :superhappy:
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« on: December 28, 2010, 10:28:09 PM »
In the chat room, is it possible to add an option that let's you ignore all PMs?
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« on: December 27, 2010, 03:30:24 PM »
So, which is it? :pagel:
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« on: December 26, 2010, 08:24:53 PM »
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my husband I'd give you poison." He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease." "That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." - Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary." - William Faulkner(about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." - Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill "Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second.... if there is one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here." - Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial." - Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others." - Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily." - Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.." - Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts.. . for support rather than illumination. " - Andrew Lang(1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." - Groucho Marx
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« on: December 26, 2010, 08:12:53 PM »
Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?". Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?". Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre". Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".
Samsung Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?" Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about". Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?" Operator: "I think you mean the telephone point on the wall".
RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am travelling in Australia?" Operator: Doesn't the product give you a clue?
Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while travelling in France): "If I register my car in France, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"
Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff please". Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?" Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off".
Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label; Woven in Scotland".
On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on".
Computer Capers Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop". Customer: "OK". Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?". Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?" Customer: "No". Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?". Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'". Tech Support: "OK. In the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I have just realised that I need it. If I turn my system clock back two weeks will I have my file back again?".
There's always one. This has got to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the Word Perfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the Word Perfect organization for "Termination without Cause".
Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee. (Now I know why they record these conversations!): Operator: "Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?" Caller: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect." Operator: "What sort of trouble??" Caller: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away." Operator: "Went away?" Caller: "They disappeared." Operator: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?" Caller: "Nothing." Operator: "Nothing??" Caller: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type." Operator: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out??" Caller: "How do I tell?" Operator: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen??" Caller: "What's a sea-prompt?" Operator: "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?" Caller: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type." Operator: "Does your monitor have a power indicator??" Caller: "What's a monitor?" Operator: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on??" Caller: "I don't know." Operator: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??" Caller: "Yes, I think so." Operator: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall. Caller: "Yes, it is." Operator: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable." Caller: "Okay, here it is." Operator: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer." Caller: "I can't reach." Operator: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is??" Caller: "No." Operator: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over??" Caller: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark." Operator: "Dark??" Caller: "Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window." Operator: "Well, turn on the office light then." Caller: "I can't." Operator: "No? Why not??" Caller: "Because there's a power failure." Operator: "A power... A power failure? Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in??" Caller: "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet." Operator: "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from." Caller: "Really? Is it that bad?" Operator: "Yes, I'm afraid it is." Caller: "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them??" Operator: "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer.” :laugh:
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« on: December 26, 2010, 08:09:19 PM »
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« on: December 26, 2010, 07:36:43 PM »
*Hitler's mother thought about having an abortion, but was talked out of it by her doctor.
*We shed 40 pounds of skin in a lifetime.
*Right handed people live on average 9 years longer than left handed people.
*A person uses approximately fifty-seven sheets of toilet paper each day
*In Singapore, it is illegal to sell or own chewing gum
*"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".
*A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
*Coca-Cola would be green if colouring weren’t added to it.
*Donald Duck was banned in Finland for a while because he doesn't wear pants.
*The manufacturing documentation for a Jumbo Jet weighs more than a Jumbo Jet.
*If electrodes are inserted at opposite ends of a pickle, and electricity is passed through, the pickle will glow.
*The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.
*Mel Blanc, the voice of Bugs Bunny, was allergic to carrots.
*Most toliets flush in E-flat.
*The sound of E.T. walking was made by someone squishing her hands in jelly.
*In the average lifetime, a person will walk the equivalent of 5 times around the equator.
*A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
*The longest one-syllable word is "screeched."
*Frowning burns more calories than smiling.
*1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.
*The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps.
*If you keep a goldfish in a dark room, it will eventually turn white.
*A ball of glass will bounce higher that a ball of rubber.
*Children grow faster in the spring.
*On average, a human being will spend up to 2 weeks kissing in his/her lifetime.
*Mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.
*A sneeze travels out of your mouth at over100 miles per hour.
*Some ribbon worms will eat themselves if they cant find any food.
*A "dude" is an infected hair on an elephants butt. :
*The average person has a total of 6 pounds of skin.
*Astronauts are not allowed to eat beans before they go into space because passing wind in a spacesuit damages them.
*On average, 12 newborns will be given to the wrong parents daily.
*On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.
*Red is the most commonly colored vehical involved in accidents each year.
*Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.
*Shakespeare invented the words "assassination" and "bump."
*American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one olive from each salad served in first-class.
*The electric chair was invented by a dentist.
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« on: December 19, 2010, 10:46:50 PM »
Your love is like the sky, wrapped around me… I dream of the day, When I will live my dream of you… To sink in your eyes. Falling deeper. Falling into your soul, drowning in your heart. You make my life sweet, wipe away my sorrows, you make me forget tomorrow. My love, you’re what I need , you’ve become the air I breathe. Life without you would be incomplete This just goes to show, I love you, I love you, then I love you… X_X
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« on: December 19, 2010, 06:43:23 PM »
Somebody put on some music Maybe a little dhol and tumbi Move aside all the furniture And put on your dancing shoes It’s your birthday, happiness all around It’s your birthday, hurry up and get on down You are the star of the show And we want everyone to know that It’s your birthday, you’re the talk PJ
It’s you birthday, you can do no wrong Its your birthday, party all night long You’re always in the groove And with each year your improve It’s you’re birthday, that;s why we’re singing this song
Happy Birthday to you Today Happy Birthday to you Today Happy Birthday to you Today Happy Birthday to you Today
Happy Birthday to you Today
Happy Birthday to you Today :excited: Happy Birthday to you Today Happy Birthday to you Today Happy Birthday to you Today
Go ahead and stick out your chest You deserve the best :excited:
Happy Birthday to you Today :excited:
:rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon: :rockon:
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« on: December 18, 2010, 11:02:23 PM »
Humko bataya tha unhone ek din, ki unhe sirf ujaale hi bhaate hain, kahin darr na jaye vo andhere mein, is liye diye nahi dil jalaaye jaate hain!!
Har raat diye se saza rakhi hai, har hawa se sharat laga rakhi hai, Jaane kis gali se guzre dost mera is liye har gali Phoolon se saja rakhi hai!!
Baat keh di jaye juban se zaroori to nahi, zindagi guzri hai aadhi puri to nahi, Samjhenge woh nigahon se mere dil ki daastaan, door baithe hain par dilo mein duri to nahi... (-unknown)
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« on: December 18, 2010, 05:08:41 PM »
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« on: December 14, 2010, 01:40:12 PM »
LondonPunjabi and The desi dude are now PJ Gabrus. Standard Promotion to PJ Gabru/Pari is after reaching 1000 or more posts. However, both of these users have immensely contributed to forums with excellent quality posts. They both participate in discussions extensively and display great knowledge, as such we have made an exception.Everyone congratulate them and hope they will continue to fill PJ with informative posts. :superhappy: :superhappy: :superhappy:
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« on: December 13, 2010, 01:50:05 PM »
Presenting PJ Award 2010 Competition. Since last year’s competition was such a success and we had tremendous amount of fun, we had to bring it back. Let’s end this year with a bang. Punjabi:Phele saal de taraa es Saal we Punjabi Janta Award kette ja rehe ne. Phele saal saree he Punjabi Janta de Users ne wadh char ke hissa leya se, Teh umeed karde aa ke tusse saree es warr we hissa leh ke Punjabi Award 2010 nu safal bano ge. Rules are as follows: 1. Males and Females voting will be separate 2. You can choose up to 3 members per category 3. You can not nominate yourself 4. Anyone on PJ can be nominated 5. Voter must have 100 + posts 6. Voting closes December 31, 2010 7. Votes will be tallied by PJ team and the winners will be announced on or before January 8, 2011Punjabi:Competition wich jog dan len leye kirpa karke heth likhe hadita nu tyaan wich rakhiyo. 1) Purash teh Janane deyia vota alag alag ketiya javan geyia 2) Ek waqt wich, kesse we category wich, tusse 3 membera nu vote kar sakde ho 3) Tusse apne app nu vote nai pa sakde 4) Koi we janna jehra ke Punjabi Janta da user aa, ohnu Vote dete ja sakde hai 5) Voters deyia vote count hon leye 100 post honiya jaroori hun. 6) Apniya Vota December 31, 2010 ton phela davo ji 7) Detiya hoyia vota de shaanti Punjabi Janta de Team dovara kete jave ge teh final nateje January 8, 2011 takk dete javan ge.Categories:Females:Most Happiest - Most Saddest - Most Emotional - Easiest to Love - Easiest to get along with - Biggest Ninja (most ladaku) - Biggest Flirt - Best Poet - Biggest Gossiper - Most Wise - PJ Clown (makes people laugh) - Most Cunning (chalaak) - Best New Member - Most Reputable - Most Useful - Most Addicted to PJ - Best PJ Female Profile - Oldest Active Member - Chat di Jaan - Forum di Jaan - Best User ID - Best Topic Starter – Males:Most Happiest - Most Saddest - Most Emotional - Easiest to Love - Easiest to get along with - Biggest Ninja (most ladaku) - Biggest Flirt - Best Poet - Biggest Gossiper - Most Wise - PJ Clown (makes people laugh) - Most Cunning (chalaak) - Best New Member - Most Reputable - Most Useful - Most Addicted to PJ - Best PJ Male Profile - Oldest Active Member - Chat di Jaan - Forum di Jaan - Best User ID - Best Topic Starter -
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« on: December 09, 2010, 01:44:30 PM »
Absolutely hate it! It get's me depressed.
Anyone else feel my pain? :pagel:
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« on: December 03, 2010, 03:58:00 PM »
Post some scary stories, you've heard through out your life.
Best story will get a special prize :pagel:
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« on: December 01, 2010, 04:18:29 PM »
1. This Cheese is So Gross It’s Been Outlawed… Casu Marzu, a pecorino cheese and Sardinian specialty, surely wins among most disgusting cheeses of the world. The direct translation is “rotten cheese” and rightly so: blocks of otherwise beautiful Italian pecorino cheeses are purposely prepared to become the natural breeding grounds for nests of maggots—the natural harbingers of rot and putrefaction. As if pecorino wasn’t pungent enough… Like many distinct ethnic practices and traditions, formaggio marcio, is a generations old culinary delicacy, with roots in familial history. The process of producing casu marzu, aka “maggot cheese,” is considered a process of finely metered fermentation. However regionally traditional the consumption of maggot-laced cheese, it hardly jives with modern food preparation and sanitation mores, therefore the offending cheese is officially illegal. Don’t let that stop you from searching for a chunk along your Italian travels, even if it will run you a steep number of Euros and from a “black market” peddler. “Godfather, you want formaggio marcio? We’ll get you formaggio marcio, don’t you worry.” Reports are it tastes exactly as you might imagine: strong pecorino, the crawly snot-plump bodies of insect larvae, and the slimy fat they’ve made of the digested cheese. Oh, and the worms jump off the cheese while you’re eating it. Mange! 2. Mongolian Boodog They don’t call it “Outer Mongolia” for nothing. Nomads, sans stainless steel gourmet kitchens, ages ago found more ingenious ways to cook a whole goat, sometimes marmot (but they may have fleas that host bubonic plague, so goat may be a better choice)—from the inside out, after you’ve hung it upside down, bled it and broken its legs. The stuffing is a bit non-Western, too: smooth hot stones crammed into every cavity imaginable and even up under the leg skin where you would have yanked the broken the bones out. Blowtorch the beast ‘til desired doneness; it can also be roasted over an open fire. That’s authentic Mongolian barbecued meat, Boodog. 3. Soft-Boiled Fetal Duck Balut takes a top spot by a landslide among the gross egg category, which should include 100-year old eggs. Balut is a fairly common and unassuming street food available in both the Philipines and Vietnam. It has also earned a widespread reputation as one of the all-time grossest ethnic delicacies. Most of the eggs with which Americans are familiar are unfertilized eggs. The balut, though are fertilized duck eggs, incubated or allowed to grow invitro for a certain length of time, usually a few weeks. Peel back the shell and along with a typical soft-boiled eggy interior is also the small inert body of a fetal duck—small bones, feathers, beak and all, some more developed than others. Most accounts suggest slurping it right from the shell with a pinch of salt. There is a right way to “enjoy” balut. 4. Whole Sheep’s Head Sheep’s head has been a traditional delicacy served in a number of world regions, including the Mediterranean and Northern Europe. You’ll find smoked versions and recipes for sheep’s head soup, usually presented whole and intact, sometimes with brains, often without (risky to consume). The eyeballs and tongue are particular delicacies. In America, most meats are separated from their heads, their feet, their tails—so we can forget about the fact that we’re eating something that once had a head, feet and a tail and at that point we no longer call it cow or pig, but T-bone steak, and bacon. Herein lies the grisly factor in sitting down to a meal of whole sheep’s head. 5. Octopus, Straight-Up
Anything still alive and squirming is food for a “most disgusting” list. Raw seafood is legendary in most Asian cuisines, Japanese sushi and Korean kimchi are notorious raw realms. Raw octopus is common as is still alive octopus, served straight-up on a plate or in a bowl. Baby octopus (sannakji) may be served cut into bite-sized, still-wriggling pieces, suction cups and all, or slurped squirming, whole. Octopus is exactly as you might imagine: rubbery, chewy and fairly tasteless and some brave adventurers report the suction cups sticking on the way down. Regardless, the dish has been a valued part of Korea’s cuisine for centuries and is considered a vitality enhancer and a health food. 6. Vacationing in Alaska: “Don’t Eat the Stink Heads” Salmon is a staple of the native Alaskan diet and natives have traditionally used all parts of the fish. One of the traditional delicacies is fermented salmon heads. Colloquially the dish has earned the name “stink heads.” Essentially the heads of King salmon are buried in the ground in fermentation pits, put into plastic or wooden barrels, even plastic food storage bags, and left to let nature do its thing for a few weeks or more. The heads are then harvested and consumed as a putty-ish mash. “Stink heads” as a distinct ethnic cuisine have been covered in various mainstream media the latest of which is The Food Network’s “Bizarre Foods” show. In and of themselves salmon heads are not repulsive, whole fish dishes are a legitimate part of rustic AND haute cuisine everywhere and King salmon is a real world delicacy. What has struck the “gross-out” nerve is the overriding fact that much of the stink head prep process is less about fermentation and more about rot and decomposition. The dish, by modern culinary standards, is nothing but rotten salmon heads, albeit treasured tribal fare. Imagine, a bucket load of large King Salmon heads left outside during the warm summer months for a few weeks….Outside the native Alaskan culture the stink head topic is nothing but a novelty, but health-wise the tradition of stink head consumption poses a real and continued challenge to regional Alaskan healthcare professionals faced with frequent and, sometimes serious, totally avoidable botulism cases. 7. Deadly Fish: License to Cook One of Japan’s most elite delicacies is also one of the most dangerous dishes you’d ever put in your mouth. The fugu fish is a cute little puffer fish, hardly “most disgusting,” but grossly lethal, certainly. Coursing throughout its vital fish organs is deadly venom—tetrodotoxin-- a natural defense system that renders its attackers paralyzed. Ingest enough of this fish’s poison and you’ll go belly-up, too dying a slow death from conscious paralysis and asphyxia. Currently, no type of anti-venom exists to undo what’s done from fugu poisoning. Regardless of the risk, in Japan’s most luxurious restaurants trained and licensed fugu chefs deftly prepare fugu for high society types, fugu aficionados, and culinary thrill seekers. Chefs adhere to strict preparation, sanitation, storage, and disposal guidelines to minimize risk. Has fugu killed anyone? You bet it has, though annual deaths resulting from fugu consumption nowadays are few and generally accidental. For true gastronomic satisfaction the best chefs are able to prepare fugu laced with a remaining trace of venom, which reportedly tingles on the tongue, providing the eater with a sensory brush with death. The potential risk makes fugu even more a thrill to consume and one forbidden to hit the Japanese Emporer’s dinner plate. 8. Jellied Moose Nose The ‘jelly’ part makes it sound sweet, like a clear jelly you spread on a nice thick slice of toasted sourdough. But jellied is how the moose nose is prepared, not jelly as in bread spread. This is, after all the cooking is done, a traditional and time-honored Alaskan dish of real sliced moose snout. White meat or dark? The list could go on AND even more interestingly be drawn from the perspective of someone well outside the American diet. A non-American list of most disgusting “delicacies” would probably begin with the All-American hotdog and a bag of pork rinds: “A ghastly, but clever disguising of cast off animal parts that do nothing for your health or virility.” 9. Bat Paste – Make sure you try this last because it could kill you. First, net a bunch of flying mouse, fruit, or fox bats in a remote village. Drop live into a pot of boiling water or milk. Roast to desired doneness. Chop and make into paste with Thai herbs and spices. Or when you have an abundance of fruit bats, try this optional Fruit Bat Soup recipe. Bats are part of the native cuisine in Thailand, parts of China, Guam and more, but they are considered notorious disease carriers. You might want to consider dropping them to the bottom of your culinary To-Try list.
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« on: November 30, 2010, 08:02:09 PM »
What methods have you used to relieve stress?
I usally workout - but lately, it hasn't been helping.
Any suggestions?
Note: Do not recommend yoga, I have no patience for it.
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« on: November 28, 2010, 05:48:27 PM »
Never cry for any relation in life because for the one whom you cry does not deserve your tears and the one who deserves will never let you cry...
Treat everyone with politeness even those who are rude to you, not because they are not nice but because you are nice...
Never search your happiness in others which will make you feel alone, rather search it in yourself you will feel happy even if you are left alone...
Always have a positive attitude in life. There is something positive in every person. Even a stopped watch is right twice a day...
Happiness always looks small when we hold it in our hands but when we learn to share it, we realise how big and precious it is...
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« on: November 24, 2010, 02:05:19 PM »
Happy Thanksgiving shuttiya amreeka waleyoo :superhappy:
Enjoy!
I'm going to catch up on some much deserved sleep. :happy:
:superhappy: :superhappy: :superhappy:
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« on: November 22, 2010, 12:46:43 PM »
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