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Topics - ਕਰਮਵੀਰ ਸਿੰਘ

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141
Shayari / zra gaur farmauna
« on: January 26, 2011, 03:07:54 AM »
aah mai voice of pj ch apni recording payi a zra suno ta kive a
Hasyo na ha ha yar zukam hoya aa
<center>
PunjabiJanta.com Player: dude in mood
<object type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="400" height="15"
data="http://punjabijanta.com/pj_player_slim.swf?autoplay=1&amp;song_url=http://punjabijanta.com/index.php?action=tpmod;dl=get4576&amp;song_title=dude in mood - Punjabi Janta">
<param name="movie"
value="http://punjabijanta.com/pj_player_slim.swf?autoplay=1&amp;song_url=http://punjabijanta.com/index.php?action=tpmod;dl=get4576&amp;song_title=dude in mood - Punjabi Janta" /></object>

142
Gup Shup / biological circuit
« on: January 23, 2011, 12:23:32 AM »
ik din mai discovry te ik prog dekhya jis vich do jurva bachia jo k pet to ik doosre nal juria hoiya san, nu alag karan lai kiti gai surgery dikhai gai c. Dona de sare androoni ang vakhre san sivaye unha de jigar to. So docs lai sab to vda khatra isnu vakh karna c kyo k jitho jigar nu vakh karna c usde bilkul nazdik jigar nu khoon pohchaun vali nari guzardi c. Par jdo surgery shuru hoi ta docs nu rahat mili kyo k jigar de darmyan cells di bohut patli jhilli c jo ohna lai guidline c te jigar nu vakh kar dita gya par is to magro ik hor samasya a gai. Dona de dil ik val jini patli ik cells di tar nal jure hoye san te iksar dharak rahe san . Hun docs preshan san k ho sakda je is nu katya jave ta koi ik ya dono dil ruk na jan par unha ne risk lai k usnu kat dita te hairani vali gal hoi hun dona dila di dharkan vakhri ho gai. So oh ik biological circuit nal jure hoye san jo unha nu iksar dharka riha c.
Wow kudrat mhan e.

143
Knowledge / 786
« on: January 22, 2011, 11:57:51 PM »
mai saudi arab ch ha is lai mere nal kam karan vale zyadatar muslim ne te pakistani ne. Ik din mere nal ik pthan kam kar riha c ta mai ohnu puchya k eh 786 da ki matlab hunda e usne dasya k 'bismilla e rehman e rahim' matlab us dyalu allah di rehmat nal kam shuru kar riha ha te oh har kam karan to pehla eh lafaz bolde ne. Fir mere dimag ch swal aya k kis tra ik ankre(digit) nu shabda ch badlya gya e te mai ohnu puchya par us nu v ni c pta. Fir dimag ch ik idea aya te mai usnu isde akhar ginan lai kiha ta gal samajh a gai oh ank is pure lafza nu darsaunde ne jive bismilla vich 7 te baki do lafza vich tartibvar 8 te 6 akhar ne. Te dusre din usne aa k is gal di pushti v kar diti usne ik kitab vich v labhya c te uthe v ehi likhya c.
So 786 bismilla erehman erahim da sankhep roop e. Par ik dusre shaks ne kiha k bhave is da koi arth e par eh likhna sahi ne jive mainu ssa likhna sahi ni lagda. Dhanwad ji

144
Knowledge / phobiaaaaas
« on: January 22, 2011, 11:25:16 AM »
These are phobias that actually exist. I am not making them up. But they are pretty weird, and kinda funny.
• Agyrophobia- Fear of streets or crossing the street.
• Albuminurophobia- Fear of kidney disease.
• Alektorophobia- Fear of chickens.
• Alliumphobia- Fear of garlic.
• Allodoxaphobia- Fear of opinions.
• Amathophobia- Fear of dust.
• Anablephobia- Fear of looking up.
• Anthrophobia or Anthophobia- Fear of flowers.
• Arachibutyrophobia- Fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth.
• Aulophobia- Fear of flutes.
• Bibliophobia- Fear of books
• Bogyphobia- Fear of bogeys or the bogeyman
• Chaetophobia- Fear of hair
• Chromophobia or Chromatophobia- Fear of colors
• Coulrophobia- Fear of clowns.
• Didaskaleinophobia- Fear of going to school.
• Ephebiphobia- Fear of teenagers.
• Epistemophobia- Fear of knowledge.
• Euphobia- Fear of hearing good news.
• Geliophobia- Fear of laughter.
• Geniophobia- Fear of chins.
• Genuphobia- Fear of knees.
• Hedonophobia- Fear of feeling pleasure.
• Hellenologophobia- Fear of Greek terms or complex scientific terminology.
• Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia- Fear of long words.
• Lachanophobia- Fear of vegetables.
• Linonophobia- Fear of string.
• Nephophobia- Fear of clouds.
• Nomatophobia- Fear of names.
• Octophobia - Fear of the figure 8.
• Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything.
• Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
• Pediophobia- Fear of dolls.
• Pedophobia- Fear of children.
• Philosophobia- Fear of philosophy.
• Phobophobia- Fear of phobias.
• Phronemophobia- Fear of thinking.
• Politicophobia- Fear or abnormal dislike of politicians.
• Pupaphobia - Fear of puppets.
• Sophophobia- Fear of learning.
• Syngenesophobia- Fear of relatives.

145
Jokes Majaak / classroom fun
« on: January 22, 2011, 10:54:42 AM »
relieving Stress in Class
1. Leave permanent markers by the dry-erase board.
2. Ask whether the first chapter will be on the test. If the professor says no, rip the pages out of your textbook.
3. Hold up a piece of paper that says in large letters "CHECK YOUR FLY". (At Least for the Male profs.)
4. Address the professor as "your excellency".
5. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
6. Relive your Junior High days by leaving chalk stuffed in the chalkboard erasers.
7. Sit in the front, sniff suspiciously, and ask the professor if he's been drinking.
8. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
9. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
10. Feign an unintelligible accent and repeatedly ask, "Vet ozzle haffen dee henvay?" Become agitated when the professor can't understand you.
11. Wink at the professor every few minutes. (Hey you might even get a date if he/she is cute.)
12. Every few minutes, take a sheet of notebook paper, write "Signup Sheet #5" at the top, and start passing it around the room.
13. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.
- Unknown
Discuss Email Add to My Favorites Printable Mark as Duplicate Del

146
Jokes Majaak / baba break la
« on: January 19, 2011, 11:35:27 PM »
 baba bota syo ik din cycle te ja riha c k achanak muhre achanak bhajno buri aa gai.
Hun babe to break ni lagi te cycle bhajno de vich laga te bhajno kehndi " ve botya dhehjanya cycle meri vakhi ch marya sharam ni aundi edi edi teri dahri a"
Ago baba kehnda "bhajno dahri ee a kite breaka ta ni"

147
Jokes Majaak / dil te na layi
« on: January 19, 2011, 11:27:19 PM »
f a boy is in luv,
his parents wud say,
"who z tht idiot?"
if a girl is in luv,
her parents r gonna say,
"idiot,who z tht boy?"
Moral: No matter who'z in luv, girls r always idiot
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

eh sare shabd kalpnik ne ehna nu gambhirta nal na lya jave. :laugh:

148
Shayari / rabba sach dassi
« on: January 18, 2011, 09:34:22 AM »
kade sade khyalan vich rehnde see,
Hun kade kade haal puchhde ne,
Kadi har gall sanjhi karde see,
Hun kadi kadi gall puchhde ne,
Kade ik pal vich mann jande see,
Lagda zindagi bhar layi russ gaye ne,
Rabba ik gall mainu sach dassin,
Ke tethon mera haal kade puchhde ne,
Rabba kisse hor de rang ch tan rang nee gaye,
Na oh kujh dasde ne na kujh puchhde ne,
Rabba mainu pata tere dar te oh hun ve aunde ne,
Par sach dassin aaj kal kihde layi sukhan sukhde ne

149
Jokes Majaak / the english
« on: January 17, 2011, 08:44:13 AM »
here is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple or pine in pineapple. And while no one knows what is
in a hotdog, you can be pretty sure it isn't canine.
English muffins were not invented in England nor French
fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes,
we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are
square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing,
grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?
If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of
booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, two meese?
Is cheese the plural of choose? One mouse, 2 mice. One louse,
2 lice. One house, 2 hice?
If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian
eat?
Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?
Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship? Have noses
that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive
on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as
heck another? When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill
in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by
going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and
off a bus. When the stars are out, they are visible, but when
the lights are out, they are invisible.
And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I
wind up this essay, I end it?
English is a silly language ... it doesn't know if it is
coming or going!!!


150
Jokes Majaak / poor nasa
« on: January 17, 2011, 08:39:36 AM »
hen the americans went to space they quickly found out that ball point pens wouldn't work in zero G's so NASA spent a decade and 12 billion dollars developing a pen that could write in zero G's, upside down, underwater on almost any surface including glass and in temperatures ranging from below freezing and to 300 degrees F
THE RUSSIANS USED A PENCIL

151
Jokes Majaak / sm stupid instructions
« on: January 17, 2011, 08:19:00 AM »
in case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed to stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Shoot, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair.)
On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap,"
(and that would be how???....)
On some Swanson frozen dinners -- "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
(but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- "Do not turn upside down."
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- "Product will be hot after heating."
(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowena iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid -- "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights -- "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what)?
On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious)
On Sainsbury's peanuts -- "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
(Step 3: maybe, ooh...fly Delta?)
On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
(Oh my ..was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity.

152
Jokes Majaak / little marry nd johny
« on: January 17, 2011, 03:54:01 AM »

Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep.
A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.



153
Love Pyar / alharpune vich layian
« on: January 14, 2011, 07:08:10 AM »
alhar umar vich layia da te rab e rakha hunda e ji. Kal ik topic vich reply kita c te us vich kiha c k jis raste turiye manzil da khyal rakhiye. Par alhara nu ta oh manzil bohut sohni lagdi e te oh sochde ne k bas ehi sab kuj e. Manzil sohni ho v sakdi e koi shak ni par raste da ki. Ki oh rasta v ona hi sohna e. Alhar sirf us ehsas nu nal lai k jyonde ne te zmini schai da khyal ni rakhde. K asli zindagi ch ki hunda e. Kuria is mamle ch zyada emotional hundia ne oh har gal nu zyada gambhirta nal laindia ne jad k zyadatar munde nai . Zyadatar lvmrgs sire nai chardia is di v ik bohut hi ajib vjah hai . Aksar kuria eh shikayat kardia ne k munda viah to bad badal gya e par eh sahi ni. Asal ch jad koi joda relation vich hunda ta oh ik dusre nal sab to vadia tarike nal vivhar karda ta jo dono ik dusre nu khush rakh sakan par dono is gal to zyada vakif nai hunde k unha da sathi vakh vakh halata nu kis tra suljhaunda te unha prati us di pratikirya ki hundi e ik tra nal oh sirf supnya di dunia ch jyonde ne te unha de sathi varga dunia te koi hor nai hunda . Te jad viah ho janda te asli zindagi shuru hundi fir kuri nu lagda k mai ta is nu jandi hi nai c. Fir age rab di marji hundi e.
Kuria zyada emotional hundia ne ise lai oh asliat bare ghat sochdia ne te aksar ghardya de khilaf jan vich oh hi pehel kardia ne. Par maa baap dia majbooria nu samjhna ohna de lai mushkil hunda e . Ik dusre nu pasand karna hasna khedna ghumna firna pyar nai . So pyare sathio apne aap nu sahmbo pehla apne ap nu zindagi sahi thang nal jyon de kabil bnao sirf financialy nai emotionaly v. Baki eh umar v kuj aisi e k bande to control e ni hundi so rab mehar kre thode te khush raho.

154
Knowledge / ajib jiha swal
« on: January 11, 2011, 11:52:11 AM »
sunan nu ta eh swal bohut ajib jiha e lagega k full kyo khirde ne full mehekde kyo ne fal kyo lagde ne ohna de vich rang kyo hunde ne?
Par eh kudrat da apna tarika e ik parjati nu apna vikas karan da mauka den da. Asal vich eh sab tarike use tra kam karde ne jive manav parjati apne sathi nu akarshit karan di koshish kardi e ta jo ik sathi labhya ja ske te parjanan kita ja ske. Par ped paude chal fir nai sakde ise lai oh kuj kit patangya nu akarshit karan de lai eh dhang apnaunde ne ta jo ohna di madad nal oh sathi nal parjanan di parkirya puri kar sakan.
Jad ik paude nu full lagde ne ta ohna de rang kafi akarshak hunde ne te ohna di khushbu v lajvab hundi e. Eh kit patangya nu akharshit karke prag kna da sthananter karde ne is parkirya nal full apne bij paida karde ne te full suk jan to bad eh bij zmin te jhar jande ne te paida hunde ne us parjati de nve paude.
Ise tra falla vale paude ise parkrya adhin apna parjanan chakar pura karde ne pehla full khushbu fir fall. Te fall ise lai mithe hunde ne te lajvab swad vale hunde ne ta jo vakh vakh jiv ohna nu kha k bijan nu dur dur tak faila sakan.
So kudrat sarya da khyal rakhdi e ta jo jivan chakar chalda rahe.

155
Gup Shup / pj te ajkal ki ho riha
« on: January 02, 2011, 11:37:01 PM »
sat sri akal dosto ki hal chal ne mai kai dina to dekh riha k pj te nve topic bohut ghat ban rhe a pta ni kyo ohi purane topic sahmne a rahe a mai khud v koi topic ni bna p riha ki kra time ni lagda topic te soche hoye ne par ohna te kam karan nu time ni milda so jinha membera kol time hai oh mauj masti de nal nal kuj change topics v bnaun dhanvad.
Sade sandhu bai ji noxi k grewal v ni disde aj kal kithe gye lagda 31nu zyafa pi lai honi a hahahahahahahah

156
Jokes Majaak / jhanda bai parhn baith gya
« on: January 02, 2011, 02:33:24 PM »
ik var jhanda bai pi k ghar aunda par eh ni chohnda k bapu nu pta lge so ghre varda e moti sari kitab khol k parhn baith janda.
Udhro bapu aunda te puchda: kyo bai pi k aya?
Jhanda bai: nai bapu.
Bapu: " fer kanjra sandook khol k ki bur bur kari jana" :laugh:

157
Gup Shup / Te eda chraya asi nva sal
« on: December 31, 2010, 11:35:27 PM »
Chuhle te patila chahd dita c purana calender pad dita c,
khap kise ne kiti ni bas roti khadi unjh kise ne piti ni,
9 ku vje kambal lai lite svere uth k ishnan kite,
roti pani kha k fir chah da patila kahd dita,
hun duty jan di tyri a te cycle nu v jhar dita e,
bas ji kardya kraundya ne nva sal chahd dita e.
Ha ha ha ha ha inj chraya asi nva sal sarya nu mubarka hon ji.

158
Gup Shup / Sohnyo narazgi te nai
« on: December 31, 2010, 01:22:09 AM »
Lao bai pyaryo aj sal da akhri din a gya te mai eh topic is lai bnaya ta k agar kise nu kise nal koi narazgi e, koi gussa, kise nu kuj galat bolya hove, koi galat post kiti hove ta bejhijak das deve . Aj akhri din sare gile shikve dur kar lao je koi sry bolna chonhda kise nu usdi galti dasni chonhda ithe das deve.
"PAR LARNA NI"

159
Jokes Majaak / Santa train ch
« on: December 29, 2010, 01:55:29 PM »
Ik var santa apni family nal madras to train ch a riha hunda oh thale vali seat te us di gharwali usto uper vali berth te te usda munda usdi gharwali di berth de uper hunda.
Gaddi ik station te rukdi to usda munda te oh utar k kuj lain jande te ine nu ik madrasi usde munde di berth te a k let janda. Jad oh a k dekhda ta madrasi nu berth shadan lai kehnda par madrasi nu samajh ni aundi. Hun santa tte nu sad lainda par tte v kehnda je tu kuj dasna ta greji ch das te santa kehnda:
" the person sleeping over my wife is not giving berth to my child". :laugh:

160
Jokes Majaak / Munde nai badalde
« on: December 29, 2010, 01:49:28 PM »
Ik din ik munde nal ik kuri baithi c,
duje di n duji,
tije din tiji,
te chauthe din chauthi
is to eh sabit hunda k kuri badal jandia par munde nai badalde
:laugh:

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