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Messages - ਕਰਮਵੀਰ ਸਿੰਘ
3161
« on: April 08, 2011, 02:19:57 PM »
After getting all of Pope John Paul's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope," they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."
"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.
"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.
Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.
"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.
"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.
The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.
"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.
The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.
"So bust him," says the Chief.
"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.
The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"
"No, I mean really important," said the cop.
The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
Chief: "Governor?"
Cop: "Bigger."
"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"
Cop: "I think it's God!"
Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"
Cop: "He's got the Pope as a driver!!
3162
« on: April 08, 2011, 02:10:56 PM »
according to Andersen Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all of the questions wrong. But many pre-school children got several correct answers. Andersen Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four year old.
Q1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?
Correct Answer
Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe and close the door.
This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.
Q2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?
Wrong Answer:
Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant and close the refrigerator.
Correct Answer:
Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door.
This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your actions.
Q3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend, except one. Which animal does not attend?
Correct Answer:
The elephant, since it is still in the refrigerator.
This tests your memory.
OK, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your abilities.
Q4. There is a river you must cross, but it is inhabited by crocodiles. How do you manage it?
Correct Answer:
You swim across. All of the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting!
This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.
3163
« on: April 08, 2011, 02:06:11 PM »
Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe :blah:
3164
« on: April 08, 2011, 01:57:34 PM »
:excited:
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
CLASS: Maria.
____________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
__________________________________________
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
____________________________________________
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
__________________________________
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
______________________________________ ____
TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
_______________________________________
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
_________________________________
TEACHER : George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
______________________________________
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
______________________________
TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog.
___________________________________
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher :D:
3165
« on: April 08, 2011, 01:32:51 PM »
A woman goes to her boyfriends' parents' house for dinner. This is to be her first time meeting the family and she is very nervous.
They all sit down and begin eating a fine meal. The woman is beginning to feel a little discomfort, thanks to her nervousness and the broccoli casserole.
The gas pains are almost making her eyes water. Left with no other choice, she decides to relieve herself a bit and lets out a dainty fart. It wasn't loud, but everyone at the table heard the pouf.
Before she even had a chance to be embarrassed, her boyfriend's father looked over at the dog that had been snoozing at the woman's feet and said in a rather stern voice, "Skippy!".
The woman thought, "This is great!" and a big smile came across her face. A couple of minutes later, she was beginning to feel the pain again.
This time, she didn't even hesitate. She let a much louder and longer fart rip. The father again looked and the dog and yelled, "Dammit Skippy!"
Once again the woman smiled and thought "Yes!".
A few minutes later the woman had to let another one rip. This time she didn't even think about it. She let rip a fart that rivaled a train whistle blowing.
Once again, the father looked at the dog with disgust and yelled, "Dammit Skippy, get away from her before she s**ts on you!" :D: :D: :D: :D: :D: :D: :D: :D: :D:
3166
« on: April 08, 2011, 08:24:42 AM »
:lost: 6
3167
« on: April 07, 2011, 08:23:36 AM »
oh aah chakar c mai ta ainve gallaa kadhda riha :hehe:
Kidding kidding :laugh:
3168
« on: April 07, 2011, 07:21:25 AM »
'babey-shaabey, jaat paat'' shadd, roop GOBIND hoye
hun rakh AKAAL 'ch dhyaan SINGHAA..
GURU ik da ho, hoka hakk sach wala
hun aapna DHARAM pashaan SINGHAA...
hun aapna DHARAM pashaan SINGHAA.......
Bohut sahi kiha ji
3169
« on: April 06, 2011, 02:42:11 PM »
Daahhhh ppl ... stop saying that without a turban a person is not a sikh .. that is so not true. Sikhism to me is not about turban and beard ... it is the way you lead your life ... follow the values from Shri Guru Granth Sahib ji ... if someone does that then he/she has the right to be proud and be called a Sikh.
Elle, like you said, it is his personal choice .. there is never a right or wrong standpoint on this. If he would like to .. then Kudos ... great actually! because its very difficult to follow these traditional stuff (I myself am not able to). BUT I want to tell you that a person who cuts his hair is NOT an improper sikh. He can be as much of a sikh as any other person.
tuhadi eh gall parh k badi nirasha hoyi. Thik e jo tuc mande o thodi apni marji e par thonu apne vichara de anusar galat nu sahi kehen da koi hak nai. Ik sikh ta ohi hai jo guru de lar lag k akal purkh tak pohnchda hai. Te jad guru de lar lagie ta sikh nu apni akal nkar deni paindi e. Guru di kise gal te kintu prantu us de man vich nai auna chahida . Sacha sikh ohi e. Singha ne guru de ik vachan te apnia jana kurban kitia , khopria luha ditia par val ni ktaye . Is hisab nal tuc ohna nu ki khoge. Is tra dia galla ta sirf bahane ne apnia kamzoria nu sahi thehraun de. Mafi chahuga thonu bura zroor laga hovega. Kamzor asi sare aa par lor e k asi is nu kabool kariye na k is tra de bahane bnayie. Bohte naujwana da ehi byan hunda k "ji val rakhan nal e rab nu pujya ja sakda val rakh k v lok puthe kam kari jande aa" Bilkul sahi gal e par je koi dusra galat kar riha is da eh matlab ta ni tuc v use tra kro. Is tra karan nal galat sahi ni ho janda oh galat e rehnda e. Shayad kafi sajjna de man ch is tra de bhulekhe honge . Par kde eh sochya is piche vjah ki e. Vjah e bhana manan di k jiho jiha rab ne bnaya uho jiha rahiye. Par eh sirf ise falsfe nu lai k nai chalda eh sidhant sikhi di jarh e. Je koi angrezi sikhni hove ta pehla a b c sikhni paindi e. Thik ise tra bhana manan di shuruat ise mudhle padhar to karni paindi e ta sikh vde to vda bhana has k jar lainda. Titlee ji shayad thodi e post mai parhi c jis vich kesa da te dastar da bohut vadia varnan c. Acha ik gal daso je school jane ta proper uniforn je na payiye ta ki apa fail ho javage. Apa office jane a proporly dress up ho k je na jayiye ta apni firm nu ghata ho jayega. Market jane a apa dekhde a k mai vadia lagda k nai je na vadia lage ta apa nu saman nai milega. Fir v apa ehna chiza da khyal rakhde a eda kyo. Mafi chahuga ji dove hath jor k aukhat to vadh bol gya.
3170
« on: April 06, 2011, 02:13:46 PM »
hey elle just say yes or no. If u both r in a relation just for fun nd he is serious abt his decision nd u can't accept him in that appearance then leave him bt plz don't cmpell him.
Nd if u both r serious abt ur relation then this is nt a big issue. U jz calm down nd say to ur mind 'OK LETS SEE WHAT HAPPEN NXT'
U remember when suddunly pj was changed then evrybdy shouted bt nw its gr8 for every1.
And also a proper sikh must follow the code of conduct of sikhism. Any other view or tolerance is just a compromise between the religion and the man.
3171
« on: April 04, 2011, 11:42:07 PM »
:laugh: :laugh:
3172
« on: April 04, 2011, 02:39:09 AM »
happy happy janamdin bai ji
3173
« on: April 04, 2011, 01:40:57 AM »
thax for reply ha ha ha ha very nice reply ha ha ha ha.
Network te jo available ohi use karuga hun mai apna net kive bnava ha ha ha. Baki eh mai ta share kita k 80% mamlya ch ise tra hunda mere network nal.
Nd ji admi kismat nai bnaunda kismat admi nu bnaundi e.
3174
« on: April 03, 2011, 10:54:57 AM »
hanji mai apni kismat di hi gal kar riha ji. Pta ni ki vjah e par jad v koi chiz ya koi kam mai badi shiddat nal karna chohna matlab eh kam hune e ho jaye ta koi na koi adchan pai jandi e. Te sab to zyada is tra mere netwrk nal hunda. Jad v ithe pj te ya hor kite mai badi reehj nal dilo kise lai kuj likhda ta aksar netwrk dhokha de janda. Nd mainu fer gussa aun lagda :angry:
Kal raat e hoya , india match jit gya mai sochya chlo ghar dad nal gal karde a kuj clg frns nal khushi sanji karde aa. Bt eh netwrk mera dushman ban gya.
Aj sara din pj te kuj likhan da dil ni kita bas ehi gal dimag ch ayi k je sachi meri kismat mere nal ise tra e kardi e ta je life koi khwahish puri karni chahi ta ki bnega. :hehe:
Vaise ta mainu koi khas dar ni lapda is tra soch k bas apne mind nu thoda relax karan lai share kita. :smile:
3175
« on: April 03, 2011, 10:37:45 AM »
shame on me , . . . . :sad: know only 1
3176
« on: April 03, 2011, 08:51:20 AM »
:laugh: there was another easy method also. In our school the applications were hanged or collectivly put in the classroom. So the boys used those old apps. They just found an old app of the absent person, erased the date with chalk nd wrote the new date. :mean:
3177
« on: April 03, 2011, 08:44:58 AM »
ha ha ha ha in my school i was regular bt sm were not. So if smbdy was absent his frns write a sick leave application, sign the application as his father or gaurdian nd gave it to the teacher. Thats it nd it became a legal absent. :laugh:
3178
« on: April 02, 2011, 12:40:20 AM »
:hug: :balle: :superhappy:
Janam din mubarak hove jhanda bai ji
3179
« on: April 01, 2011, 11:17:36 PM »
happy happy b'day brar ji
3180
« on: April 01, 2011, 11:07:29 AM »
bai ji bilkul khari gal kiti aa ehi haal e kuria da ise vjah karke clg tak pohnchde pohnchde bohte sardar lande ho jande aa ha ha ha ha
Eh vi gal 16 aane sach e pagg nal tohr aa puri. Sadi co. ch bohut thore sardar ne par koi v milda india chahe paki sardar ji keh k bulaunde aa . Ik var asi road te ja rahe c ik paki driver ne gaddi hauli kiti te 'sardar ji ki hal chal ne' puchya . Baki apni apni samjh e bai ji
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