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Topics - ҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰
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201
« on: February 22, 2011, 04:23:09 AM »
 : He's been voted 1 o' the "sexiest cricket stars with the highest votes" from indian women. Hahaha. Don't look at me. That's just what i heard.
202
« on: February 20, 2011, 04:56:33 AM »
1. Can't seem to copy and paste images in pj. Try enabling this, therefore it's easier. 2. My semen/sperm topic has vanished! http://punjabijanta.com/gup-shup/semensperm/Try finding it.
203
« on: February 18, 2011, 05:49:01 AM »
Ya know how it goes. I was preparing my breakfast and i guess i was still half asleep, i poured my cereals on my glass. Thank god it was empty. I seriously didn't even realised. :laugh: When i looked down, i was like waheguru!!! and yesterday i broke another glass. Mornings are ridiculous!
204
« on: February 17, 2011, 04:35:03 AM »
-Dude grabs the girl's exercise book and starts flipping through the pages-
Girl: Don't get too jealous and start ripping them up.
205
« on: February 16, 2011, 04:58:39 AM »
I pick celcius. 
206
« on: February 15, 2011, 05:05:32 AM »
Kiwi bloke: He's dead
American: Did what?
Kiwi bloke: ..Dead..
American: He did what!?
Another kiwi bloke: HE'S DEAD.
American: Are you guys f*****g! with me!? He did, he didn't! but what did he do?
Kiwi bloke: He died, ..not alive..
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Basically the american dude thought they said "did" because to him, dead sounds did. Gee he's dumb and deaf.
207
« on: February 14, 2011, 05:30:59 AM »
Hahaha i didn't even know until my bf txt me with a happy valentines day. It seemed like a bunch o' other people knew.
I was also laughing at the NZ poll results tonight where we voted what we think of valentines day. 8000 of us voted "we don't care", 150 "hates it", 100 "loves it", a few "hated it but now love it" and vice versa. We're such "romantic" people. :laugh:
208
« on: February 13, 2011, 05:42:14 AM »
I read somewhere about how this chick once dated a kiwi dude and how he dumped her after a year but she was so happy and in love with him then she was broken and now she hates us and blaming us all for that. Hahahah waheguru.
209
« on: February 12, 2011, 06:16:34 PM »
Winners
Westpac New Zealand 'Sports Team of the Year'
The All Whites
SPARC New Zealand 'Coach of the Year'
Ricki Herbert
Westpac New Zealand 'Sportswoman of the Year'
Valerie Adams
Westpac New Zealand 'Sportsman of the Year'
Richie McCaw
NZ's favourite sporting moment:
Winston Reid's last minute equaliser vs Slovakia at the WC.
Finalists:
Westpac New Zealand 'Sportsman of the Year'
- Richie McCaw (Rugby): Led All Blacks to 13 wins in 14 Tests during 2010. Voted IRB 'Player of the Year' for a record third time. Finished year with a record equalling 94 Test Caps.
- Benji Marshall (Rugby League): Was the dominant player in the Four Nations Final leading Kiwis to 16-12 win over Australia. Also collected League's top award, the 'Golden Boot.'
- Ryan Nelsen (Football): The talismatic All Whites captain inspired the team to gain 3 draws at the FIFA World Cup Finals, conceding only 2 goals in group play. Later named in the 'World Best XI' by ESPN.
- Jossi Wells (X Games): Freeski Halfpipe and Overall Freeski World Champion for 2010. Also won silver medal in Halfpipe at Winter X Games in Aspen.
Westpac New Zealand 'Sportswoman of the Year'
- Valerie Adams (Athletics): Won shot put gold medal in Delhi with a Commonwealth Games record throw, to retain her title. Also won IAAF Continental Cup with a season best throw of 20.86m. Nikki Hamblin (Athletics): Winner of silver medals in 800m and 1500m finals at Commonwealth Games. Set NZ 1500m record time of 4m 22.45 secs at Continental Cup with 6th place finish.
- Joelle King (Squash): Played a dominant role in the women's doubles gold medal performance with Jaclyn Hawkes at the Commonwealth Games. Also won silver medal in mixed doubles.
- Alison Shanks (Cycling): Winner of individual pursuit gold medal at Delhi. Was 4th in individual pursuit at World Championships where she also won bronze in the women's pursuit team.
- Casey Williams (Netball): Captained the Silver Ferns to a double over time gold medal win over Australia at Delhi. The Silver Ferns goal defence was a dominant figure in the Trans-Tasman ANZ Championships.
Westpac New Zealand 'Sports Team of the Year'
- All Blacks (Rugby): Completed a rare Grand Slam and Tri Nations clean sweep in 2010 and retained Bledisloe Cup. Went through season winning 13 out of 14 Internationals.
- All Whites (Football): Surprised the football world by going through the 2010 FIFA World Cup as the only unbeaten team out of the 32 finalists. Had 1-1 draw with World Champion Italy in 2nd round of play.
- Kiwis (Rugby League): Scored a dramatic 16-12 win over Kangaroos in final of Four Nations Tournament in Brisbane after losing their final qualifying game to Australia, 34-20.
- Eric Murray and Hamish Bond (Rowing): Maintained an unbeaten 2 year run in all international competitions with a dramatic win by 0.32 secs over the English in the pair's World Championships at Lake Karapiro.
- Silver Ferns (Netball): Scored a dramatic 66-64 double over time win over Australia in the Final at Delhi. During 2010 the Silver Ferns played 13 Tests - losing only twice.
SPARC New Zealand 'Coach of the Year'
- Graham Henry (Rugby): Guided the All Blacks to near flawless season - winning 13 of 14 Tests in 2010.
- Ricki Herbert (Football): Steered the All Whites through an unbeaten World Cup campaign in South Africa.
- Stephen Kearney (Rugby League): Steered the Kiwi's to a dramatic 16-12 win over the Kangaroos in Four Nations Tournament.
- Gordon Tietjens (Rugby): Guided the NZ Sevens to a 4th Commonwealth Games gold medal at Delhi.
210
« on: February 09, 2011, 05:59:30 AM »
This american chick who recently arrived in NZ, who has been put in my class for now, was whinging how she should've brought her school jacket because apparently, she was cold. Seriously! how can she be cold! these last week has been pretty hot because it's summertime over here. Funny thing though was that nobody in our class was wearing a jacket, while she complained how cold it was, the rest of us were trying to find a way to stay cool. :laugh: The whole class looked at her like waheguru is she on about.
211
« on: February 08, 2011, 06:58:10 AM »
212
« on: February 07, 2011, 05:54:10 AM »
I'm joking. The packers did. I only watched the highlights, if anyone actually watched it, how did it go? Where you american punjabis at?
213
« on: February 06, 2011, 06:00:16 AM »
An old Italian Mafia Don is dying and he called his grandson to his bed Grandson I wanta you to listen to me. I wanta you to take mya 45 automatic pistol, so you will always remember me. But grandpa I really don't like guns, how about you leaving me your Rolex watch instead.
You lisina to me, some day you goin a be runna da bussiness, you goina have a beautiful wife, lotsa money, a biga home and maybe a couple od bambino, some day you goina come hom and maybe finda you wife in be with another man. Whata you gonna do then? Pointa to you watch and say, "TIMES UP"?
214
« on: February 04, 2011, 06:29:52 PM »
A farmer, who wasn't all that familiar with newfangled technolagy, had never went on a airplane but had to visit his sick daughter in New York city. Having to use the restroom badly, he asked the flight attendent where the bathroom is and was pointed all the way down to the back of the plane - but with a warning to not press the third button.
The farmer went in and pressed the first button. It throughly cleaned his front private. Delighted, he pushed the second button and it cleaned his rear end throughly as well. With the memory still fresh in his mind about the flight attented saying not to press the third button, curiosity got the best of him and he pressed it... and ended up in the hospital.
Next thing he remembers is waking up in the hospital, looking over at the doctor an asking "What happend?" "Well..." The doctor replied, "the third button on the plane... was a tampon remover." Ouch.
215
« on: February 04, 2011, 05:57:53 AM »
What's LOVE?
In math: A problem.
In history: A war.
In chemistry: A reaction.
In art: A heart.
In me: You.
216
« on: February 04, 2011, 05:52:05 AM »
Post Edited
Elle - Please see me incase you have a question
thanks
217
« on: February 03, 2011, 05:43:45 AM »
During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:
"If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?"
Mike replies: "Wait a minute, I'm going for a piss."
The teacher says: "That would be very rude and improper on your part."
Charlie replies: "I'm sorry I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute."
The teacher says: "That's much better but to mention the word "toilet" during a meal, is unpleasant."
And Little Johnny says: "My dear, please excuse me for a moment. I have to go shake hands with a personal friend, whom, I hope to be able to introduce to you after dinner."
218
« on: February 02, 2011, 07:28:55 PM »
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't speak aloud in pubic places about our sex lives...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
219
« on: February 02, 2011, 04:31:39 AM »
Two married buddies are out drinking one night when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway. I shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, I sneak up the stairs, I get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed and my wife STILL wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"
His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt ... and she always acts like she's sound asleep!"
220
« on: February 01, 2011, 07:26:43 PM »
Little Johnny's teacher got up in front of the class and announced they were going to play a guessing game! The teacher said, "I have something behind my back. It's red in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard."
Johnny raised his hand and said, "I know, it's a red rubber ball." The teacher said, "No Johnny, it's an apple, but I like the way that you think."
The teacher grabbed another object and put it behind her back. "I have something behind my back. It's orange in color and round. It's soft, but it's hard," said Johnny's teacher.
Johnny raised his hand again and said, "Teacher teacher, I know, it's an orange rubber ball." The teacher looked at Johnny and said, "No Johnny, it's an orange, but I like the way that you think."
Johnny was now getting the hang of it so he asked the teacher if he could try one. Johnny grabbed an object and put it behind his back and said, "I have something behind my back. It's pink in color and it's loooong. It's soft, but it's haaaard."
The teacher, getting upset, yelled at Johnny, "Now Johnny, I'm going to have to tell the principal about this perverted behavior." Johnny stopped her and said, "But, teacher, all I have is my pink eraser - but I like the way you think!"
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