Author Topic: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World (Read 5863 times)

SonnenKinder · « **on:** February 18, 2010, 08:30:12 PM »

A marriage can be a wonderful and joyous occasion full of happiness, laughter and unicorn farts for two very lucky people. In other cases, it can be an exercise in full-blown insanity, as evidenced by these bizarre marriage traditions from every corner of the globe.

5.Bride Kidnappings.
Practiced in: The Roma communities (all over the world)

Most unions can trace their beginnings to that one special night at a frat kegger when the couple first met their gaze in a crowded room and forever cemented their fate. Some cultures however decided to skip all this romantic crap and go from the “total strangers” phase straight to marriage in one messed-up leap of criminal activity: kidnapping the bride.

The Romani, also known as Gypsies, for centuries have had this tradition, that if you manage to forcefully kidnap a girl and keep her by your side for 2-3 days, she officially becomes your wife. Long ago this probably made a lot sense, as it helped you avoid buying the bride off the parents or having Thanksgiving dinner with them every year. But even in this day and age it’s not viewed as anything strange in the Roma culture, and many women simply go with the fact that the overweight guy, who cornered them with a bottle of chloroform at a McDonald’s lady’s bathroom, is now the love of their life.

Some of you are probably wondering, how in the **** is this legal? Well, it’s a cultural practice of a large ethnic minority and most governments would rather start flossing with razor wire than to commit the PR equivalent of suicide by banning a minority tradition.

4.Marrying animals to exorcise ghosts
Practiced in: some regions of India

The Santhal tribe in India believe that if a baby girl has a tooth rooted to her upper gum, it’s the obvious sign she will be eaten by a tiger or something in the near future, because ghosts hate her. Therefore, she must marry a dog. Such was the story of Karnamoni Handsa, a 9-year-old Indian girl who “married” the local stray calf amidst the dancing and cheers of her 100 guests getting shitfaced on home-made booze. Huh… Somehow the presence of moonshine in a cross-species wedding is not surprising in the least…

The good news is, this is nothing but a mock ceremony and the couple don’t have to consummate the wedding. It’s just to ward off the evil spirits so the girl can marry a real boy some time later. Thank God, otherwise this exorcism ritual between a child and a canine would have been really weird.

3.Blackening of the bride
Practiced in: Scotland

In many ways the Scottish people are just like your typical Europeans but with a few notable quirks: they eat sheep entrails, wear male-skirts and instead of rice, they throw stinking crud like eggs and sauces on their brides.

This custom is called the “blackening of the bride”, a very old Scottish tradition; some say even older than Sean Connery himself. It’s part of a hazing ritual that actually happens before the wedding. The bride is taken by surprise, by hands down the crummiest friends you could have, and covered from head to toe with all kinds of crap. It can be anything: spoiled milk from the back of your fridge right down to tar and feathers. It serves 2 possible purposes. Either it gets the men in the proper mood, (assuming all Scots have a fetish of homeless chicks who never bathe), or it helps the women deal with the prospect of marriage, because nothing that will happen to them from that point on will be as cruel or humiliating as the blackening.

2.Fat Farms
Practiced in: Mauritania (Africa)

There are different standards of beauty in every part of the world. For example, despite the majority of Western brides stopping short of having their kidneys removed to lose weight before the big day, some cultures actually find huskier women more attractive…. and are prepared to go to disturbing lengths to put more junk in their women’s trunks. Enter the Mauritanian Fat Farms.

Fat Farms are sort of the opposite of Fat Camps – a place where brides as young as five are sent to gain weight under the watchful eyes of wrinkled old crones, in order to become more attractive and get married as soon as possible. In the practice known as Leblouh, the girls are force fed a truckload of food—which might include more than 4 pounds of millet and 5 gallons of camel milk a day—and if they vomit, the supervising hags force them to eat it up. Failure to comply is reportedly often met with torture. So OK, maybe those places are not that different from Fat Camps.

The sad part is, this practice has virtually disappeared until a couple of years ago when a military junta took over the country and reinstated it, probably hoping that fatter women will be easier to catch or something.

1.No shitting
Practiced in: parts of Malaysia

There is nothing more beautiful than a wedding. It is after all the couple’s first day as two happily married people, surrounded by friends, flowers and fancy foods. But for the tribes of the Tidong community in northern Borneo, a wedding is the first day of a grueling journey to the deepest levels of Hell and back. It’s the day when the couple must stop pooping for 72 hours.

The Tidong tradition dictates that a newly married couple be confined to their house and not empty their bowels or urinate under any possible circumstances for the entirety of 3 nights and 3 days. That’s why they are often carefully watched over by family members and given very little food or water. The Tidong people believe that if the couple makes it, they will lead a happy and long life with lots of non-dead children, so the stakes are pretty high here.

When you think about it, there is a spark of genius in this practice. Nothing binds 2 people for life like going through difficult times together, and there is nothing more difficult than being denied to go to the bathroom for nearly half a week. When the 3 days are up, these people will be closer to each other than ever before, because they will no longer be just husband and wife… They will be poop buddies.

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand · « **on:** February 18, 2010, 08:30:12 PM »

KuriPataka · « **Reply #1 on:** February 18, 2010, 10:44:32 PM »

LOL! I've heard of fattening the bride in Africa. Apparently the fatter the girl, the richer her family is.

I love the first one, a fat guy kidnaps you and now he's the love of your life. LMAO.

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #2 on:** February 19, 2010, 11:19:55 AM »

Quote from: ~PyroManiac~ on February 18, 2010, 10:44:32 PM

LOL! I've heard of fattening the bride in Africa. Apparently the fatter the girl, the richer her family is.

I love the first one, a fat guy kidnaps you and now he's the love of your life. LMAO.

yes and Mauritania is an african country where this ritual still exists.

KuriPataka · « **Reply #3 on:** February 19, 2010, 05:12:53 PM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 19, 2010, 11:19:55 AM

yes and Mauritania is an african country where this ritual still exists.

Nobody will marry me there :(

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #4 on:** February 19, 2010, 06:22:02 PM »

Quote from: ~PyroManiac~ on February 19, 2010, 05:12:53 PM

Nobody will marry me there :(

but u be da perfect guinea pig for their FAT FARMS.

Y "BB" · « **Reply #5 on:** February 19, 2010, 11:52:11 PM »

menu ik pata aa
ma tan haran ho gai sun ke

:
das v n skdi oh tan ma

KuriPataka · « **Reply #6 on:** February 20, 2010, 04:04:09 AM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 19, 2010, 06:22:02 PM

but u be da perfect guinea pig for their FAT FARMS.

This is true. I guess it would be an interesting experiment/experience. So should I look for an eligible bachelor in Mauritania to beef myself up for?

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #7 on:** February 20, 2010, 06:30:50 AM »

Quote from: ѕмυяƒєттє on February 19, 2010, 11:52:11 PM

menu ik pata aa
ma tan haran ho gai sun ke :
das v n skdi oh tan ma

mara kann vich dass da ma aape post kr dauga PJ te

Y "BB" · « **Reply #8 on:** February 20, 2010, 06:31:58 AM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 20, 2010, 06:30:50 AM

mara kann vich dass da ma aape post kr dauga PJ te

: dasan ali cheej n aa kan vich v nahi
thank god ma sardarni aa

:

Oranyo · « **Reply #9 on:** March 18, 2015, 09:28:46 PM »

bai pahla wala bhala khatrnak lagda

:

💖Selfie_queen💖 · « **Reply #10 on:** March 18, 2015, 09:47:53 PM »

Funny pictues

Author Topic: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World (Read 5863 times)

SonnenKinder

5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand

5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

KuriPataka

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

SonnenKinder

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

KuriPataka

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

SonnenKinder

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

Y "BB"

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

KuriPataka

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

SonnenKinder

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

Y "BB"

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

Oranyo

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

💖Selfie_queen💖

Re: 5 Insane Marriage Rituals From Around the World

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