A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters.They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’ Anonymous
 


First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, Mine still alive"



Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
 

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once
 
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to

 
My wife and I were happy for twenty years.Then we met. Henny Youngman


 
A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. Rodney Dangerfield