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Author Topic: LINGUISTIC LAPSES  (Read 485 times)

Offline SonnenKinder

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LINGUISTIC LAPSES
« on: November 04, 2009, 07:04:40 PM »
S. Khushwant Singh is most humourus Punjabi. He has written many joke books (actually a compilation of jokes sent to him from various parts of world) I found this compilatio funny and worth sharing with PJ. In non english speaking countries, some hoardings or signboards make gud readings. Please enjoy

1. In a Bucharest hotel lobby :  The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.

2. In a Belgrade hotel elevator : To move the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin should enter more persons, each one should press a number of wishing floor. Driving is then alphabetically by national order.

3. In a hotel in Athens : Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 am daily.

4. In a Japanese hotel : You are invited to take advantage of the chamber-maid.

5.In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian orthodox monastery : You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian composers, artists, and writers are burried daily except Thursday.

6. In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers : Not to perumbulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the boots of ascension

7. On the menu of a Polish hotel : Salad a firm's own make, limpid red beet soup with cheesy dumplings in the form of a finger, roasted duck let loose, beef rashers beaten up in the countrypeople's fashion.

8.In a Bangkok dry cleaners shop : Drop your trousers here for best results.

9. Outside a Paris dress shop : Dresses for street walking.

10. Outside a Hong Kong dress shop : Ladies have fits upstairs.

11. In an advertisement by  a Hongkong dentist : Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists.

12. In a Sweden tourist agency : Take one of our horse-driven city tours. we guarantee no miscarriages

13. In a Swiss mountain Inn : Special Today - no ice cream

14.In a Bangkok temple : Its forbidden to ent3r a woman even a foreigner, if dressed as a man.

15. In a Tokyo bar : Special cocktail for the ladies with nuts.

16. In a Rome Laundry : Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend teh afternoon hving a good time

17. In a Rhodes tailor shop: Order your summer suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation

18.In an East African Newspaper : A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contracors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.

19. Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand : Would you like to ride on your own ass?

20. In the window of a Swedish furrier : Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin

21. From a brochure of a car rental firm in Toky : When passenger of foot heave in sight tootle the horn. Trumpet him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage then tootle him with vigour.

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