You're an extreme redneck when--

You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke  at the dinner table in front of her kids.   

The value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.   

You’ve been married three times and still have the same in-laws.   

You think a woman who is out of your league bowls on a different night.   

You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.   

You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 

Your wife’s hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 

 Your junior prom offered day care.   

You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels..   

The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 

One of your kids was born on a pool table.   

You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.   

You can’t get married to your sweetheart because there’s a law against it. 

You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.