Author Topic: Far From Perfect (Read 493 times)

_noXiouS_ · « **on:** July 12, 2010, 07:11:08 PM »

About a year ago on his 30th birthday, after spending his entire adult life loosely dating different women, he suddenly decided he was ready to settle down. He wanted to find a real mate… a lover… a life partner – someone who could show him what it meant to be in a deep, monogamous, trusting relationship.

So he searched far and wide. There were so many women to choose from, all with great qualities, but none with everything he was looking for. And then, finally, just when he thought that he would never find her, he found her. And she was perfect. She had everything he ever wanted in a woman. And he rejoiced, for he knew how rare a find she was. “I’ve done my research,” he told her. “You are the one for me.”

But as the days and weeks turned into months and years, he started to realize that she was far from perfect. She had issues with trust and self-confidence, she liked to be silly when he wanted to be serious, and she was much messier than he was. So he started to have doubts – doubts about her, doubts about himself, doubts about everything.

And to validate these doubts, he subconsciously tested her. He constantly looked around the apartment for things that weren’t clean just to prove that she was messy. He decided to go out alone to parties with his single guy friends just to prove that she had trust issues. He set her up and waited for her to do something silly just to prove that she couldn’t be serious. It went on like this for awhile.

As the tests continued – and as she, clearly shaken and confused, failed more and more often – he became more and more convinced that she was not a perfect fit for him after all. Because he had dated women in the past who were more mature, more confident, and more willing to have serious conversations.

Inevitably, he found himself at a crossroads. Should he continue to be in a relationship with a woman who he once thought was perfect, but now realizes is lacking the qualities that he already found in the other women that came before her? Or should he return to the lifestyle he had come from, drifting from one empty relationship to the next?

Every Light Casts A Shadow

One of the greatest lessons we get to learn in life is that we are often attracted to a bright light in another person. Initially, this light is all we see. It’s so bright and beautiful. But after awhile, as our eyes adjust, we notice that this light is accompanied by a shadow – and usually a fairly large one.

When we see this shadow, we have two choices: We can either shine our own light on the shadow or we can run from it and continue searching for a shadowless light.

If we decide to run from the shadow, we must also run from the light that created it. And we soon find out that our light is the only light illuminating the space around us. Then, at some point, as we look closer at our own light, we notice something out of the ordinary. Our light is casting a shadow too. And our shadow is a bigger and darker than some of the other shadows we’ve seen.

If, on the other hand, instead of running from the shadow, we decide to walk towards it, something amazing happens. We inadvertently cast our own light on the shadow, and likewise, the light that created this shadow casts its light on ours. Suddenly, both shadows begin to disappear. Not completely, of course, but every the part of the two shadows that are touched by the other person’s light illuminate and disappear.

And as a result, we each find more of that bright beautiful light in the other person – which is precisely what we have been searching for all along.

- Hope it made sense

Rubbie · « **Reply #1 on:** July 12, 2010, 10:20:41 PM »

Fantastic post… Dear…
Inspite of knwing that nobody is perfect not even we ourself …..still the quest of perfection never ends….
We all tend to overlook the positive aspects and rather focus on the negatives…
knowing that positive and negatives occur together same as light and Shadow….
Beautifully explained by this example…. Although I need to read this later part twice to understand wat it actually means….. but the idea is superb…..

*rAbh RaKHA* · « **Reply #2 on:** July 24, 2010, 09:19:20 PM »

thank u 4 this awesum postttttt...

_noXiouS_ · « **Reply #3 on:** July 27, 2010, 12:40:10 PM »

Quote from: Rubbie on July 12, 2010, 10:20:41 PM

Although I need to read this later part twice to understand wat it actually means….. but the idea is superb…..

Light and shadow example - Initially we are so mesmerized by a person that all we see is the positives, however as time passes...we begin to see the flaws as well eventhough they might be very minute, they still exist...as ofcourse, there is no such thing as perfect human. Other point being made was that we are so busy findings faults at everyone else, that we forget our own shortcomings/flaws.

_noXiouS_ · « **Reply #4 on:** March 21, 2012, 08:42:15 AM »

ah, loved reading this again. Perfect example!

҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰ · « **Reply #5 on:** May 14, 2012, 05:29:01 AM »

I am only and have only ever been interested in impefection

Author Topic: Far From Perfect (Read 493 times)

_noXiouS_

Far From Perfect

Rubbie

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rAbh RaKHA

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_noXiouS_

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_noXiouS_

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҂ ȿḉặᵰɗἷἧäѷїѧҋ↔ᶀɍǐȶĩṧӊ ₰

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