Revise the attached email for grammar, punctuation, usage, spelling, effectiveness, and conciseness. Submit a clean copy of the email at Wednesday's class. Handwritten changes get no marks..

so if someone want to help cool go ahead - or if you are not interested in helpin then vi its cool koe tension nahi :)

and hanji  - ik gal dsynna bhul gyea ... Thankju sryea da jihna help krni and jihna nye nahi vi karni...

bash if you get the letter done - request aa ke email it @ navibraich@hotmail.ca

Email exercise
                        
From:     Karen White, Activities Coordinator          May 21, 2012 12:08 p.m.
To:     All Business Students
Subject:  End of Term Hike
It has come to my attention that many of the students in the business department are actually rather interested in helping to organize a nice hiking trip to celebrate the end of a long and rather arduous (I'm sure you'll agree) term. I am the Activities Coordinator and as a result, I am responsible for assuming all responsibility for the implementation of such interesting requests as these.
Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated in helping me to determine once and for all the level of interest for such a hiking trip-whether it be to the local mountains or maybe farther a field such as to the Rockies where I hear the hiking is out of this world, especially in early summer when the wildlife is at its most abundant and the crowds are perhaps a bit less than they can be later in the summer. All suggestions will be most welcome.
Thanks!
Karen
 
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birr sara hi adhaaa page di aa

Hello Students,

It has come to my attention that many of the students in the business department are interested in helping to organize a hiking trip to celebrate the end of a long and arduous term. I am the Activities Coordinator and as a result, I am responsible for assuming all responsibility for the implementation of such interesting requests.

Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated in helping to determine once and for all the level of interest for such a hiking trip-whether it be to the local mountains or maybe farther such as the Rockies. I have heard that the hiking is out of this world, especially in early summer when the wildlife is most abundant and the crowds are perhaps a bit fewer than they can be later in the summer. All suggestions are welcome.

Sincerely,
Karen


here is something that i did - ajj subah

...

     It has come to my attention that many students in the Business Department  are interested in organizing a nice hiking trip to celebrate the end of a long and rather arduous(I’m sure you’ll agree) term. My role as an Activities Coordinator is to assume and implement these interesting requests. 


     Your cooperation would be greatly appreciated in helping me to determine once and for all the level of interest for such a hiking trip-whether it be to the local mountains or maybe farther afield such as to the Rockies.  I have heard hiking in the Rockies is out of this world, especially in early summer when the wildlife is at its most abundant and the crowds are perhaps a bit less than they can be later in the summer. All the suggestions by the students will be welcome.

Thanks,

Karen


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notice the "comma" after the thankx istead of ! or just put thank you,

I am not sure about the indentation either. You can google the sample format for letters.


here it is try

Thanks bai for the help ... appreciate that