Here are 10 ways to create true intimacy, find pure love, and be truly happy in your relationship:

1. Use relationships to teach you how to be whole within.

Relationships aren’t about having another person complete you, but coming to the relationship whole and sharing your life interdependently. By letting go of the romantic ideal of merging and becoming “one,” you learn as Rainer Maria Rilke says, to love the distances in relationship as much as the togetherness.

2. See your partner for who he or she really is.


The romantic tragedy occurs when you view the person you are in love with as a symbol of what they have come to represent, the idea of them. When you realize that more often than not you don’t really know your partner, you begin to discover who they are and how they change and evolve.

3. Be willing to learn from each other.

The key is to see the other as a mirror and learn from the reflection how you can be a better person. When you feel upset, rather than blame your partner and point fingers, remain awake to what has yet to be healed in yourself.

4. Get comfortable being alone.

In order to accept that love can’t rescue you from being alone, learn to spend time being with yourself. By feeling safe and secure to be on your own within the framework of relationship, you will feel more complete, happy, and whole.

5. Look closely at why a fight may begin.


Some couples create separateness by fighting and then making up over and over again. This allows you to continue the romantic trance, creating drama and avoiding real intimacy. If you become aware of what you fear about intimacy, you’ll have a better sense of why you’re fighting—and likely will fight far less.

6. Own who you are.


We generally grasp at romantic love because we’re yearning for something that is out of reach, something in another person that we don’t think we possess in ourselves. Unfortunately, when we finally get love, we discover that we didn’t get what we were looking for.

True love only exists by loving yourself first. You can only get from another person what you’re willing to give yourself.

7. Embrace ordinariness.

After the fairy-dust start of a relationship ends, we discover ordinariness, and we often do everything we can to avoid it. The trick is to see that ordinariness can become the real “juice” of intimacy. The day-to-day loveliness of sharing life with a partner can, and does, become extraordinary.

8. Expand your heart.

One thing that unites us is that we all long to be happy. This happiness usually includes the desire to be close to someone in a loving way. To create real intimacy, get in touch with the spaciousness of your heart and bring awareness to what is good within you.

It’s easier to recognize the good in your partner when you’re connected to the good in yourself.

9. Focus on giving love.

Genuine happiness is not about feeling good about ourselves because other people love us; it’s more about how well we have loved ourselves and others. The unintentional outcome of loving others more deeply is that we are loved more deeply.

10. Let go of expectations.

You may look to things such as romance and constant togetherness to fill a void in yourself. This will immediately cause suffering. If you unconsciously expect to receive love in certain ways to avoid giving that love to yourself, you will put your sense of security in someone else

Source : yahoo :

i forgot to mention :Pagel;

I wonder if books/articles can help you for real

these are the things that most of people already know and it definitely helps

so thats how you hack hearts mr heart hacker :happy:

kidding :)

naa but its not working for me :Laugh:...shes pretty chalak
she dont take me seriously

Only way you can have a healthy and strong relationship is by being honest and loyal to your partner.

yea you are right but trust is something that's more important

if your honest , trust is always there.

but ajj kal kise da koi yakeen ni bro

sahi gall a ...j koi sacha v howe ta v yakeen ni kar sakde...j karna v chaune a ta v ni hunda

sache insaan nal hamesha maadi hundi :smile:

par khair apa sache aa ede ch sada kasoor thodi hunda :)

yea per koi toh hoga

That doesn't work either.

i agree on that too :happy:

I was talking in ideal world

in realistic world its all different

i agree on that too :happy:
I was talking in ideal world
in realistic world its all different

Cheers! I thought maybe by posting that I was going to head toward a run-in.

Trust me or not, they all lead to Dear John Letters!

kharcha krde raho... :D: :D: :D: