Author Topic: Hillarious Terror Alerts Levels (Read 1547 times)

SonnenKinder · « **on:** February 09, 2010, 10:15:00 PM »

The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have raised their security level from “Miffed” to “Peeved.”

Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to “Irritated” or even “A Bit Cross”. The English have not been “A Bit Cross” since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies all but ran out.

Terrorists have been re-categorized from “Tiresome” to a “Bloody Nuisance”. The last time the English issued a “Bloody Nuisance” warning level was during the great fire of 1666.

The Scots raised their threat level from “Pissed Off” to “Let’s get the Bastards” – they don’t have any other levels.

This is the reason they have been used on the frontline in the British army for the last 300 years.

The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from “Run” to “Hide”.

The only two higher levels in France are “Collaborate” and “Surrender.” The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France ’s white flag factory, effectively paralysing the country’s military capability.

It’s not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert. Italy has increased the alert level from “Shout loudly and excitedly” to “Elaborate Military Posturing.” Two more levels remain: “Ineffective Combat Operations” and “Change Sides.”

The German also increased their alert state from “Disdainful Arrogance” to “Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs.”

They also have two higher levels: “Invade a Neighbour” and “Lose”

Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual, and the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels.

The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy.

These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy.

The USA meanwhile are carrying out pre-emptive strikes, on all of their allies, just in case.

New zealand has also raised its security levels – from “baaa” to “BAAAA!”. Due to continuing defense cutbacks (the airforce being a squadron of spotty teenagers flying paper aeroplanes and the navy some toy boats in the Prime Minister’s bath), New Zealand only has one more level of escalation, which is “Shit, I hope Austrulia will come and rescue us”. In the event of invasion, New Zealander’s will be asked to gather together in a strategic defensive position called “Bondi”.

Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from “No worries” to “She’ll be right, mate”.

Three more escalation levels remain, “Crikey!’, “I think we’ll need to cancel the barbie this weekend” and “The barbie is cancelled”. So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level.

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand · « **on:** February 09, 2010, 10:15:00 PM »

Y "BB" · « **Reply #1 on:** February 10, 2010, 12:01:03 AM »

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #2 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:11:36 AM »

Quote from: ℓσνє кαυя on February 10, 2010, 12:01:03 AM

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

ha na interesting? :mean: :mean:

Y "BB" · « **Reply #3 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:13:07 AM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 10, 2010, 02:11:36 AM

ha na interesting? :mean: :mean:

aho scots ghaint aa :pagel: :superhappy:

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #4 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:21:42 AM »

Quote from: ℓσνє кαυя on February 10, 2010, 02:13:07 AM

aho scots ghaint aa :pagel: :superhappy:

spanih ona nalo b ghaint aa. jinna ships spain da dubba haga ona hor kise country da ni dubbe. ona da armada da ta british na bura haal kr dita c.

Y "BB" · « **Reply #5 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:26:19 AM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 10, 2010, 02:21:42 AM

spanih ona nalo b ghaint aa. jinna ships spain da dubba haga ona hor kise country da ni dubbe. ona da armada da ta british na bura haal kr dita c.

lol menu ehna n pata
jehda samjh ayea oh tenu das dita blah

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #6 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:28:15 AM »

Quote from: ℓσνє кαυя on February 10, 2010, 02:26:19 AM

lol menu ehna n pata
jehda samjh ayea oh tenu das dita blah

teek aa tu saaria nalo ghaint aa :happy:

Y "BB" · « **Reply #7 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:30:11 AM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 10, 2010, 02:28:15 AM

teek aa tu saaria nalo ghaint aa :happy:

nah nah tere naloh ghat :happy:

SonnenKinder · « **Reply #8 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:43:21 AM »

Quote from: ℓσνє кαυя on February 10, 2010, 02:30:11 AM

nah nah tere naloh ghat :happy:

ma ki ghaint hona g. ghaint ta haga mara papa. college parde hoi kuri phasa li ona na mara umar vich ta mari achievement aja tak nil hagi :sad: es mamla vich

Y "BB" · « **Reply #9 on:** February 10, 2010, 02:44:58 AM »

Quote from: SonnenKinder on February 10, 2010, 02:43:21 AM

ma ki ghaint hona g. ghaint ta haga mara papa. college parde hoi kuri phasa li ona na mara umar vich ta mari achievement aja tak nil hagi :sad: es mamla vich

ohi tan ma kehni aa.. par tu ha ki darpok aa.... mundiyea aundi jawani ik vari aa ishqe toh ehna v nah dar ke rakho

kiya samjhe :mean: :mean: :mean:

Author Topic: Hillarious Terror Alerts Levels (Read 1547 times)

SonnenKinder

Hillarious Terror Alerts Levels

Punjabi Janta Forums - Janta Di Pasand

Hillarious Terror Alerts Levels

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