Many things to get you through the day.


Run one lap around the office at top speed.

Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye."

To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.

When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!".  :

Walk sideways to the photocopier.

While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open.

Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it".

Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight).

Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).

Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on and off 10 times.

For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Bob".

After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in "the report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour.

While a co-worker is out, move their chair into the elevator.

In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, PLEASE! All of you just shut up!".

In a co-worker's diary, write in 10am: "See how I look in tights".

Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask "You wanna trade?".

Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now".

Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it".

Posing as a maitre d', call a colleague and tell him he's won a lunch for four at a local restaurant. Let him go.

Speak with an accent (French, German, Porky Pig, etc) during a very important conference call.

Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet paper from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out.

During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.

Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."  Oh my :

Play a tape of jungle sounds at work all day.

At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. Hahahahahaha

Page yourself over the intercom (don't disguise your voice).

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.   : good one :

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think".

Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy".

As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

Sing along at the opera.  :lol:


Call the psychic hotline and just say, "Guess".

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week !!!"

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."