AAAAA The Organization for Drunk Drivers

AOL Anti On-Line

APPLE Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity

ARMY Ain't a Real Marine Yet

BASIC - Bill's Attempt to Seize Industry Control

BMW Big Money Waste

BUICK Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer

CD-ROM Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months

CHEVROLET Cracked Head, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rattle on Long Extended Trips

COBOL Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language

COMPUTER Capable Of Making Perfectly Uncomplicated Tasks Extremely Rigorous

DODGE Drips Oil, Drips Grease Everywhere

DOS Defunct Operating System

DUMBO Down Under Manhattan Bridge Overpass

FIAT Fix It Again, Tony
FIAT Funny Italian Attempt at Technology

FORD First On Race Day
FORD Found On Road, Dead
FORD Fix Or Repair Dail

GMC Gotta Mechanic Coming!

HONDA Hold On, Not Done Accelerating!

IBM I Blame Microsoft
IBM I Bought Macintosh

ISDN It Still Does Nothing

JFGI Just F*@&ing Google It

LISP Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parentheses

LOTUS Lots Of Trouble, Usually Serious

LOVE Loss Of Valuable Energy

MACINTOSH Most Applications Crash, If Not The Operating System Hangs

MARINE Muscles Are Required, Intelligence Not Expected
MARINE My A$$ Rides In Navy Equipment

MCSE Minesweeper Consultant & Solitaire Expert
MCSE Must Consult Someone Experienced
MCSE Making Computers Slow Everyday

MICROSOFT Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers

MIPS Mistakes Incurred Per Second

MIPS Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed

MOPAR Mostly Old Parts and Rusted (

NASCAR Numerous A***holes Simultaneously Circling Around Rednecks
NASCAR Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks

NAVY Never Again Volunteer Yourself

NTSC Never The Same Color

OS/2 Obsolete Soon Too

PASCAL Pedantry And Strictness Created A Language

PCMCIA People Can't Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms

PEBCAK Problem Exists Between Chair And Keyboard

PENTIUM Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics

PONTIAC Poor Old Nutjob Thinks It's A Cadillac

POTS Plain Old Telephone System

RENAULT Repair Ever Needed, Always Useless, Lotsa Trouble

RISC Reduced Into Silly Code

RTFM Read The F*@&ing Manual

SCSI System Can't See It
SCSI-2 System Can't See It Again

SNMP Security Not My Problem

SUBARU Still Usable, But All Rusty Underneath

TOYOTA The One You Ought To Avoid

US ARMY Uncle Same Ain't Released Me Yet

USMC Uncle Sam's Misguided Children

WINDOWS Wonderful Interface No Dos User Would Sanction

WINDOWS Will Install Needless Data On Whole System