Author Topic: Winner : Shayiri Rabb de Layi April/May 2014 (Read 4550 times)

rabbdabanda · « **on:** May 12, 2014, 03:28:55 AM »

Rabb lei shayri nu te asal ch Rabb ji hi judge kar sakde
ohi jaan sakde kine prem vich bhijj ke likhan vale ne likheya
Es lei jo asi judge kar sakde oh poem di external aspect tak hi limited reh sakda. Ik human view human words lei.
Pj staff ne 3 criterions ditia judging lei:
Length: total 3 points
Structure: total 3 points
Content: total 4 points
Length lei points is hisaab naal dite geye:
Minimum 3 paragraphs likhne si, so har ik paraghraph da 1 point.
Paragraph ch mimimum 4 lines chahida , so ¼ = 0.25.
Matlab ik line ghat te -0.25 kite geye
Baki points kide dite oh har poem de lei singularly dassea jauga

Judge 1

Haye baba ji kinna sohna likhya sarya ne. Rabb de layi likhya tuc sare ee kmaal o rabb de layi ainwe nai likhya janda. So jidda competition da asool e ik nu te jitauna paina. Maaf kardyo je koi galti hoje.

Gujjer no.1::
gujjer ji ne likhya sohna pyar te vichode di gall kiti. Gujjer ji ne kavita di lambayi nu bilkul rule mutabik rakhya so poore 3 no.
Je gall kariye content di ate ohnu pesh karan di ta uche suche jazbaat ne par ohna nu lafza di shakal den ch thodi kami japdi va jisde karke oh jazbaat fikke pai rahe va so 2.5 no.
Te aad madh te ant di gall kariye ik tra di jaldbazi jihi dikhdi e kavita ch so ohde layi 1.5 no. Ditte jande va.
Total : 7

Pangebaaz mutyar::
Ehne ne v vadia likhya va. Kavita di lambayi vaste ehna nu poore 3 no. Milde aa.
Content v vadia chunya aa shukar di bhawna te boht vaddi gall aa. Te os nu vadia tra pesh v kita va. So ehna ditte jande 3 no.
Gall karde vaaad madh te ant di ohnu v changi tra nibhaya e laibadh peshkari va so 2.5 no.
Total : 8.5

Garry sandhu ::
Garry sandhu ji ne v vadia likhya va. Lambayi lai poore no.3
Content v boht vadia va garry ji da. Te ohnu pesh v boht vadia alfaza ch iksar laey ch kita va. So garry ji nu 3.5 no.
Aad madh te ant di gall kariye ta oh v boht vadia va. Poori kavita vich vichar shuruat to ant takk kahani di tra va. So poore 3 no.
total : 9.5

Desi desi::
Dhillon ji ne v vadia likhya va. Bhawe lambayi vich inha di kavita pachad gayi va. Es lai inha nu 1 no.
Par jo content chunya te jehde alfaza ch byan kita va kafi vazandar va so ohde layi 2.8 no.
Aad madh ant di gall kariye ta ohda andaza launa aukha va iko pehre ch. So 1.5 no.
total: 5.3

Kinnu ::
Kinnu ji di kavita v boht sohni va lambai lai poore 3 no.
Content boht sohna va kinnu ji da sabar shukar te murshad agge arjoyi kiti va. Te lafza ch jazbaat pesh karan ch v kafi parbhawshali va so 3.5 no.
Aad madh ant v boht laiyatmak va ik saar ohde layi 3.
Total: 9.5

Karmveer singh::
Karam ji ne v vadia kavita likhi pyar vichode di gall va. Lambai lai ohnanu ditte jande va 2no.
Content v vadia te jazbaat v ubhar rahe va lafza cho ohde layi ditte jande 3 no.
Aad madh ant bare gall kariye ta kavita iksaar e ik vakya poori tra shuru to akhir takk byan kita va. Ohde layi 2.5 no.
total: 7.5

Judge 2

sat shri akal ji
jinna users ne particpate kita ohna da bahut bahut sukriya ...

gujar no -1
gujar saab likhia sohna .. Rabb nu yaar mann ke..Ishq-haqeeqi nu pesh krn di koshish kiti hai.
lafzan wich thoda thoda sudhaar kita ja sakda si.. pher v bahut sohna likheya. keep it up
point system
based on length -3
based on material -2.5
material tuhade kol bahut si, tusi apni shayiri wich jo murshid de nal ous de taalib da vichora painda hai, os da warnan kita hai te jiwe jiwe shayiri agge wadh'di jandi hai tusi nal nal vichore te birhon di tadaf bare dasea k oh v kiwe baldi agg waang wadh rahi hai. tuhadi eh kavita kise sufi kalaam nalon ghat nahi. bahut sohna!
based on starting nd ending - 2.5
total points - 8

pangebazz mutyar
hanji pangebazz sohna likhia tusi.. par thodia kujh lines copy kita hoyea
jidan first line a eh song di a lakh vari kra sukarana rab da..bakki hor v lines ne jehdia copy ne .. second pharagraph di lines first two eh v common lines ne aksar use hundia ne
bakki gud se ... keep it up
point system
based on length- 2
length de hisab nal topic sohna se .. keep it up
based on material - 1.5
material kujh words copy ne .. jidan mai phela he keha a .. aghe tho esh gal da kiyal rakhia jave..
based on starting nd ending - 1.5
starting tho ley k end tak sohna se ...
edda he likhde raho ..
total points - 5

garry sandhu
sandhu saab kaim likhiya tusi.. rab ek bahut he senstive topic a .. tusi apne words nal eh kehn di himaat kiti a .. rab apne dil vich he a.. ohnu laban di lodd he nae .. its very nice ..
point system
based on length- 2.5
length puri sahi se .. topic v sohna likhia ji
based on material - 3
hanji material v sohna se ... sachia gallan likhia ne ..
based on starting nd end - 2
suru tho end tak sohna se .. bs minor he mistakes ne ..,keep it up ..u rocks ;)
total points- 7.5

Desi desi
sukriya for d particpate .. really sad bahut shoota likhia .. atleast thodi length ta deni se topic nu ...
total points
based on length - 1
length de hisab nal topic bahut small a ...
based on material - 1.3
material v bahut gatt a ..
based on strting nd end - 1.5
suru kitho kita mukk kithe gya kujh nae pta lagda ..
total marks -3.8

ni yaar tera malang jeha
malang sohna likhiya bt pharagraph bna k likhde ta .. its luks awsme...
bakki thnk ju for particpate
point system
based on length - 2
lenght de hisab nal topic sohna se
based on material - 1.5
material hor likhia ja sakda se .. jinna material se its not so sufficent for the topic ..
based on starting nd end - 1
suru tho end tak ek he tappe ch mukkata sab kujh... so its not gud
total points -4.5

karamveer singh
hanji sardar saab sohna likhia tusi..
edda he likhde raho .. thodi kalam jis din boldi a kaher he kardi a ji
point system
based on length- 2.5
hanji length kujh gatt se topic se .. bakki topic bahut sohna se esh te hor v likhia ja sakda se
based on material - 2.5
material collection sohni se ...
based on starting nd end - 2
starting nd ending is really gud
total points -7

Judge 3

Gujjar no. 1
Length = 3
Structure = 3
Bahut hi khoob structure a. Couplet and Quatrain alternate hunde hoe refrain nal jurde a. Introduction ch dassde ki contest a poem da (Rabb ton vichora) , going on explain karde kida kida asar hunda es vichore de dukh da tee da and finally conclude karn lage dass jande kis had tak eh vichore di peer chale geyi.
Content = 4
Jis insaan nu Rabb hi hond da ik war ehsaas ho jae, us da Rabb ton vichr ke ki haal hunda eh es poem ch bahut sohni tarah dassea geya. Har ik verse jazbaat naal bharea hoea a. Shayed pehli baar par ken a lagge na ke eh Rabb di gall ho rehi a….. Par Rabb nu peyaar karn valeya nu samj jande ke Rabb nall Peyaar di te Rabb ton vishore di gall ho rehi
Total = 10

Pangebaaz mutteyar
Length = 3
Structure = 2.5
The two stophes are well divided according to two different themes: first one talks about the poetess and the second talks about the world . But introduction te conclusion da apas ch mel nahi banda. Introduction is completely detached from the themes treated in the next paragraphs. Paragraph de vich verses ik doosre naal sohni tarah jurde par they stay autonomous from the rest.
Content = 2.5
Rabb di gall marginally hundi. It's a bit off topic. The majority of the words is referred to the poetess herself and to the world
Total = 8

Garry Sandhu
Length = 3
Structure = 3
Structure poem da bahut sohna . Introductive verses ch dassea kis matter te next strophes ch gall houghi (Rabb nu pauna). First strophe is accuratly dedicated to explain da problem in various terms and the second strophe gives the solution and than it concludes with a nice exhortation.
Content = 4
Shuru to le ke end tak har word Rabb nu paun di gall kar reha. Es matter da har point touch kita geya. Je ik passe eh dassea ke loki kida Rabb nu paun di koshish karde, doosre passe apna personal view vi dita. Te end khud nu Rabb nu paun lei zor dindea hoya kmaal hi kar diti. it's a complete in the true sense of the term.
Total=10

Desi Desi
Length = 1 oh my God , it’s really a pity ke eh eni shoti a
Structure= 3
4 verses apas vich well related a, kush ukhrea ukhrea nahi lagda
Content = 3
Poem Rabb agge ik question kardi a. Par Theme di har aspect cover nahi kardi. Rabb di gall karn vaste Rabb age apnia problems rakhan da matter choose kita, oh matter poori tarah develop nahi kita. Rabb di Sifat Salah, jan Rabb nal prem di gall reh geyi. Shayed je lambi hundi tan eh kami vi poori ho jandi.
Total=7

Ni tera yaar malang jeha

Length = 3
Structure= 1.7
Introduction te conclusion ik doosre naal related a. vich vale kush verses mein theme, jo introduction vich dassi geyi, ode to passe hat jande, so structure ik saar maintain nahi rehnda, breaks aa jande.
Content = 3
Poem expressly Rabb nu dedicated a. kei points nu include karan di koshish kiti geyi (Rabb te insaan da relation, Rabb nu kida Pauna, Rabb di power creat te destroy karn lei), par eh sare incompleted shadd dite geye, fully develope ni hoe.
Total=7.7

Karamveer Singh
Length = 3
Structure = 3
poem is accurately divided in strophes: on describes the past and the second describes the present. Jo Introduction ch announce kita onu well maintain kita throughout the poem.
Content = 4
Es poem ch menu apna haal nazar aya. Shayed har kise Rabb nu peyaar karn vale nu apna haal nazar aya houga. Keo ke poem sirf 12 lines eh dass jandi ke Rabb nu milan te ki hunda, te Rabb ton vichran te ki hunda. Koi gall adhoori shaddi hi ni Karam veer ji ne
Total = 10

Voter	Voted for	Posts	Status
ashfaq_gujr	Gujjar no.1	6712	Y
apurv	Gujjar no.1	2833	Y
kamal.preet	Gujjar no.1	6501	Y
rajinder62	Gujjar no.1	2226	Y
Mani Kaur	Gujjar no.1	3023	Y
pj	Gujjar no.1	17	N
♥♥ ਗਭਰੂ ਚੋਟੀ ਦਾ ♥♥	Gujjar no.1	315	Y
shahzaib sandhu	Gujjar no.1	0	N
Lucha_Indien	pangebaaz mutiyaar	5035	Y
Jatt.	pangebaaz mutiyaar	3374	Y
Sweet_Desi_kuri	pangebaaz mutiyaar	3542	Y
sanjana gill	pangebaaz mutiyaar	4738	Y
deep shergill	pangebaaz mutiyaar	541	Y
MANU MAAN	pangebaaz mutiyaar	1312	Y
sandhuonline	Sandhu faridkotiya	3123	Y
JAtt In sTYle	Sandhu faridkotiya	7982	Y
The desi dude	Sandhu faridkotiya	4075	Y
NoorSandhu	Sandhu faridkotiya	4642	Y
preet14	Sandhu faridkotiya	3631	Y
jaspreetmand	Sandhu faridkotiya	6603	Y
kala naag	Sandhu faridkotiya	66	N
Dreamer	Sandhu faridkotiya	32	N
lado_rani	Karamveer Singh	14528	Y
s_deep	Karamveer Singh	297	Y
inder.shergill	Karamveer Singh	1166	Y
NIMANI KAMAL	Karamveer Singh	1407	Y
laraki_jatti	Karamveer Singh	1653	Y
pam_sandhu	Karamveer Singh	591	Y
rabbdabanda	Karamveer Singh	5616	Y
Mor di Morni	Karamveer Singh	1374	Y
behl.him	Karamveer Singh	796	Y
Manmeeet	Karamveer Singh	702	Y
RooH	Karamveer Singh	293	Y

Top User	Votes	100+ Voters
Gujjar no.1	6	ashfaq_gujr, apurv, kamal.preet, rajinder62, Mani Kaur, ♥♥ ਗਭਰੂ ਚੋਟੀ ਦਾ ♥♥
pangebaaz mutiyaar	6	Lucha_Indien, Jatt., Sweet_Desi_kuri, sanjana gill, deep shergill, MANU MAAN
Sandhu faridkotiya	6	sandhuonline, JAtt In sTYle, The desi dude, NoorSandhu, preet14, jaspreetmand
Karamveer Singh	11	lado_rani, s_deep, inder.shergill, NIMANI KAMAL, laraki_jatti, pam_sandhu, rabbdabanda, Mor di Morni, behl.him, Manmeeet, RooH

Janta's Choice

Total Votes Cast : 29 (excluding voters less than 100 posts)
Gujjar no. 1 : 6 votes
Percentage out of 50% : 6/29x 50% = 10.34%

Pangebaaz Mutiyaar :6 votes
Percentage out of 50% : 10.34%

Sandhu Faridkotia : 6 votes
Percentage out of 50% : 10.34%

Karamveer: 11 Votes
Percentage out of 50% : 18.96%

Critics Choice

Judge 1

Total Marks : 10
Gujjar no.1 : 7
Percentage out of 50 : 7/10 x 50% = 35%
Pangebaaz Mutiyaar : 8.5
Percentage out of 50% : 42.5%
Sandhu Faridkotiya : 9.5
Percentage out of 50%: 47.5%
DesiDesi : 5.3
Percentage out of 50%: 26.5%
Kinu : 9.5
Percentage out of 50%: 47.5%
Karamveer : 7.5
Percentage out of 50%: 37.5%

Judge 2

Total Marks : 10
Gujjar no.1 : 8
Percentage out of 50 : 8/10 x 50% = 40%
Pangebaaz Mutiyaar : 5
Percentage out of 50% : 25%
Sandhu Faridkotiya : 7.5
Percentage out of 50%: 37.5%
DesiDesi : 3.8
Percentage out of 50%: 19%
Kinu : 4.5
Percentage out of 50%: 22.5%
Karam : 7
Percentage out of 50%: 35%

Judge 3

Total Marks : 10
Gujjar no.1 : 10
Percentage out of 50 : 10/10 x 50% = 50%
Pangebaaz Mutiyaar : 8
Percentage out of 50% : 40%
Sandhu Faridkotiya : 10
Percentage out of 50%: 50%
DesiDesi : 7
Percentage out of 50%: 35%
Kinu : 7.7
Percentage out of 50%: 38.5%
Karamveer : 10
Percentage out of 50%: 50%

Average of all the judges

Gujjar no.1 : 41.66%

Pangebaaz Mutiyaar : 35.83%

Sandhu Faridkotiya : 45%

DesiDesi : 26.83%

Kinu : 36.16%

Karamveer : 40.83%

Total points

Gujjar no.1 : 41.66% + 10.34% = 52%

Pangebaaz Mutiyaar : 35.83% + 10.43% = 46.17%

Sandhu Faridkotiya : 45% + 10.34% = 55.34%

DesiDesi : 26.83%

Kinu : 36.16%

Karamveer : 40.83% + 18.96% = 59.79%

Final Winner Of the Competition

KARAMVEER SINGH with 59.79% :superhappy:

=D> =D> =D> :blowout:

Everyone who participated did a great job. Each poetry was full of emotions, described very well and truly enjoyed it. Please do not take this scoring to your heart. The ONE & ONLY ONE reason if anyone has got less points it's only because of the requirements that I was given to keep in mind while scoring otherwise each and every one of you deserved full marks. To be honest no one should be rated because Poetry is full emotions and personal feelings and who am I to judge someone's personal feelings. The only reason this is being rated is so a winner can be decided otherwise we can never decide who won, right? You all did great job and please keep on writing for yourself and PJ.
Well Done everyone & Good Luck!
Thank you :)

Author Topic: Winner : Shayiri Rabb de Layi April/May 2014 (Read 4550 times)

rabbdabanda

Winner : Shayiri Rabb de Layi April/May 2014

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